Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
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Top comments
random__user 0
You deserved it, you idiot. The puppy didn't though.
sexyx0sandyyy 0
awww! poor puppy!!! how cute/sad!
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Comments (359)
shan789mudge 0
poor puppy=[ but the "runs to the corner and pees" part made me laugh lol!
omgitsseejay 0
uh, look before u kick
Sharice 0
you asshole
Dimaranien 1
oh no! i would have cried! i hope this is fake!
tdawgheath 0
I understand how you would think the whiskers would feel like a mosquito, but you have to be extra careful with a puppy... So FYL And you're stupid, who kicks at a mosquito, if you kicked it woulda stayed, shoulda swatted, and not hurt the dog. so YDI I kinda give both here.
takran 0
I've accidentally swatted my cat or hit her (lightly) with my foot scratching (not KICKING) at what I thought was a bug. Anyone that doesn't think a pet brushing against you can feel like a bug doesn't own a dog or cat. But I just give her attention after and she forgives me :P Key point here: don't *kick* at "bugs".
LilleyWhite 0
how do you mistake a mosquito and a puppy? that's sad...
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
I hate you.
ShinyObject01 0
You people who don't get how this works must have never had a dog before. They've got whiskers. If the whiskers brushed my bare leg, I would have thought it was a bug, too. And kicking your leg out when you feel something on it is actually a reflex for some people. Don't feel bad - I've slapped my cat off the back of the couch on accident when her whiskers or tail brush my ear. Just get your puppy and give him some love and attention.
AB_fml 0
#60 No, because as a country America is fantastically ignorant of the rest of the world. I went to school (age ~9-13) in various places in the US, and only studied American history, American government, etc. I am fully aware that there are plenty of Americans who have realized that the rest of the world exists, but it still has a higher percentage of people who seem incapable of considering that someone might not be from America.