Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a "fat girl's bike." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML
Today, I tried to show my little cousin how to ride a bike without training wheels. Not only did I crash into a bush, but the handlebars hit me in the nuts, and I ended up rolling around like a Labrador in shit in front of the neighbors. FML
Today, I assembled my kid’s birthday bike without reading the instructions. I proudly presented it, only for him to sit on it and immediately realize the handlebars were on backwards. The training wheels were also uneven, so it leaned like a sinking ship. My kid said, “It’s OK Dad, it's not your fault,” which hurt more than if he’d laughed. FML
Today, my wife threatened to leave me for "bodyshaming" our daughter by giving her a bicycle for her birthday. I bought her a bike because she's been asking for one for months. FML
Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML
Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
Today, I argued with my mom that I deserved enough independence to ride my bike to school. Halfway there, I realized I was so out of shape that I had to call her for a ride. FML
Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML
Today, I was showing my 6-year-old son how easy and safe it is to ride a bike. I didn't notice a pebble, bust up my leg, and my son is now terrified of bicycles. FML
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Top comments
alexup24 13
Or an exercise bike.
indistructo 3
kids these days...
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Comments (101)
alexup24 13
Or an exercise bike.
kamikrazy 6
That's probably what the little girl was trying to imply in the nicest way possible.
Redoxx_fml 22
Time to lose weight?
Pandacupcakelove 26
More like, time to teatch a brat some respect!
Cad6 24
Time for someone to teach* you some spelling.
Pandacupcakelove 26
I'm fourteen and English is not my first language, so I'm sorry for not being perfect.. What I meant by my comment is that children need to be taught not to say hurtful things to other people! That's going to be one of the first things I teach my kids.
Cad6 24
I know. I was just joking. But calling a child a brat is just a LITTLE bit too much. I mean, they're just kids.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Ok, I overreacted sorry. I've just been called fat by little kids before egen I was one myself, so i guess that's why this got to me :/ shouldn't take that out on the kid in the FML though, sorry.
kooochris1995 14
It's ironic how you are saying you want kids to respect but in your picture, the girl is being mean.
Pandacupcakelove 26
... To flowers. It's different :P
kandi_kid69 15
47- Flowers have feelings too. ):
indistructo 3
kids these days...
SkoomaKi 28
They're too smart.....
cooIbeans 0
a kid's opinion is always an honest opinion.
MrSassypants 34
#14 But one time a kid said I was a booger-head. D:
itsharkley 8
Kids When were they respectful?!
MysticKnight 3
33 - cos you are
Molly_Amanda 11
Lmfao. How adorable.
alexup24 13
Lmfao, what a waste of an FML comment.
Cad6 24
The irony I see on FML is unbelievable.
alexup24 13
I hadn't noticed how idiotic I sounded until after I posted that. I apologize.
AngiLaLa1 2
64 - I couldn't agree with you more!!! Whenever my nieces or nephews were mean I would put them in their place. Same with my friends kid... This is the problem with today... People don't discipline their children.
EdenLis 14
Obviously she was being sarcastic... What person would think a little girl saying that is adorable.
boycrazy30007 12
I would have beat her ass. For a little girl totalk to an adult like that is unbelievable
The_Hitdude 12
Then your ass would've ended up in jail for child abuse. Wouldn't be so tough there, would you?
AngiLaLa1 2
Once again... There's the problem with the world today... You can't spank your kids without someone screaming child abuse. This is why kids are so ****** up.
paperroll880 16
64-I completely agree
The_Hitdude 12
80: I have nothing wrong with being/getting/giving out a spank. I was spanked as a child aswell, and it did me a hell of a lot of good. But that isn't what they said. They said "beat her ass", which implies a lot more than spanking. I understand people screaming abuse is annoying--it gets on my nerves too--but that is what their comment came across as. Just thought I'd clear that up.
betteryouthanmee 3
That's kind of extreme. Beating? Please don't go there. And it's not the fact that she talked to an ADULT (for all we know the OP isn't even one!) it's that she said something that hurtful at all, to anyone. Although it sounds like she's too young to know better. Children don't understand body image issues, they comment on people's weight all the time.
bebeakacutie 7
"beat her ass" is just an expression. No one says I'm gonna go spank my child now. stop being so damn dramatic. Oh child abuse! Child abuse! My first thought isn't OMG that woman is gonna beat her child to a bloody pulp. No!!!! And if u were "spanked" u would understand the expression and would have heard it before.
deransc 19
Goodness, somebody is sensitive! Kids say things that embarrass people - that's what they do. Sure you teach them right from wrong and teach them about other people's feelings but there's no need to make them feel super bad about it. Tell me you've never embarrassed your parents or something.
Peachy2392 26
Kids are likely to believe that 90% of adults are fat..they're very small and we're much, much larger in comparison. They're a lot more likely to say you're fat than oh hey, you're much bigger than me because you're older than I am.
Cad6 24
Be grateful you didn't fall.
vivolleyball15 2
True, those little bikes are impossible practically! And I'm short!
JustDerpin 11
she's just looking out for you..!
iviviii 0
Kids say the darnest things!
loufol22 5
Wow! What show on Disney did she get that off of... Or possibly the Internet
ssnowywinter 0
67, you'd be surprised how early it starts... my cousins say stuff like that all the time.
Glitterhinoceros 14
If it still had training wheels, it's probably a smaller bike meant for 7 year old girls, not one meant for adults.
Dustin_Pedobear 9
You have, by far, the longest and most detailed bio I have ever seen on this site. Why am I mentioning this? I have no damn idea.
kandi_kid69 15
OP, maybe now you can use that as motivation to lose some pounds. :)
Angelrose2004 17
Maybe OP isn't fat though. It's possible that any size adult on a bicycle small enough for training wheels looks big.
kandi_kid69 15
38- Yes I realized that she may not be fat after I posted the comment and her niece most likely didn't mean that she was actually fat. I really didn't consider that as I was posting. :/