Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
Today, I was so into my game that I didn't notice my senior-aged cat had emptied his cat bladder onto my leg until I took off my headphones and he jumped off me to go chew on the couch. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML
Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML
Today, my medium-sized poxer dog was sitting on my lap. He shook his head, managing to slap me in the face with his ears three times. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Obviously your cat though it was time they got your attention… Either learn to divide your time and attention between your pets or don’t have more than one pet. Dogs and especially puppies are more up front about wanting your attention while cats are sometimes less insistent but they need your attention too. Think of this as training for if you have a family some day. Everyone in the family needs your attention at times but some are more insistent…
JillianJuneBug 39
This is probably one of the more wholesome FMLs out there
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Comments (3)
Chazzster 32
Obviously your cat though it was time they got your attention… Either learn to divide your time and attention between your pets or don’t have more than one pet. Dogs and especially puppies are more up front about wanting your attention while cats are sometimes less insistent but they need your attention too. Think of this as training for if you have a family some day. Everyone in the family needs your attention at times but some are more insistent…
JillianJuneBug 39
This is probably one of the more wholesome FMLs out there
Yudith 28
With or without claws?