Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML
Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
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Top comments
iJeremyTyler 0
You're his territory now.
dolphincheddar 10
Maybe roleplaying as a fire hydrant isn't a good idea
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Comments (111)
dolphincheddar 10
Maybe roleplaying as a fire hydrant isn't a good idea
skigirl98 9
Hey, he could've ignored you..
flockz 20
hey he could of killed you.
iPoopMusic 0
I can't think of anything worse.
RetardedBullFrog 4
33, he could've killed you and your family and piss on your graves. Then poo. Pretty sure that's worse
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
He coulda come up to you, gave you a hug, licked your face, and sat down in your lap! Talk about a nightmare.. D:
worldcupcheer17 0
he's marking his territory..on you. (:
dolphincheddar 10
I don't get what's wrong. When my woman does something wrong I piss on her to make sure she knows she's MY TREE. The dog was just putting you in your place. Piss back so he knows who's boss
HowAreYouToday 34
RANDOM INTERJECTION INSERT HERE!
NastyNinja31 0
Would his name happen to b r Kelly
PrimeStarscream 30
LOL A+
Slim2306 10
59 - WIN
Uneedanapbro 6
You probablly reminded him of a fire hydrant.
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
I'm no nazi but it's ran at *me happily
NastyNinja31 0
I got thumbed down tho 77
ChickenInMyKitch 4
96 - I'm gonna sound like all my teachers but, are you 59 ?
missyj0 12
Listen, you gotta go.. you gotta go.
livlafluv100 2
yeah, and maybe op was wearing red...
alliewillie 22
Sounds like he's letting you know that you don't play with him often enough...
iJeremyTyler 0
You're his territory now.
TheGianaJinx 0
He owns that bitch! OP got herself a pimp. A fuzzy pimp (;
dolphincheddar 10
There is no such thing as a non fuzzy pimp. They all wear fuzzy clothing
TheGianaJinx 0
But this fuzz is all natural!
isminei 6
He just wanted to show you who's boss. :)
zinoxity 23
No, dogs hump to show who's more dominant.
Iknoweverything 29
I thought maybe the dog was mad that OP didn't play with him more, and that was the only way the dog could think of to make such a statement.
NeatNit 33
Awww!
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Getting pissed on isn't cute.
OceanBreathesSal 5
Yea it happened to me once... In front of my friends. It wasn't an "awww" moment.
CattyPurry 0
he was just marking his territory. who's wears the leash in this relationship now? (;
Dr_Jalepenos 0
and u just watched while all this happened?
PaRTy4LyFe 0
I love dogs:)
Hi_I_am_Q 0
Good... for you
missyj0 12
Cool story bro, tell it again.
lilxsexii 4
It no like you :)
Salvikidd 6
Ans no one likes your grammar :)
EffinToofer 3
I do!
asianperry 8
'ans' no one likes a troll(:
yomommma 6
I no like you grammar
mlexi21 5
Hmm, take a shower maybe?
Person1233 13
OP already got his golden shower.
itsalanis 25
looks like he owns you now.