Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
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Top comments
random__user 0
You deserved it, you idiot. The puppy didn't though.
sexyx0sandyyy 0
awww! poor puppy!!! how cute/sad!
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Comments (359)
Boogers 0
Poor puppy! OMG thats awful. Terrible, man. MAKE IT BETTER.
Scorponok 0
Nice job, dumbass. Next time how about looking down? Would that be so hard?
hoochaymamuh 0
YOU'RE AN AWFUL PERSON
wpwpwp 0
to number 76, im sorry i thought this was fmylife not the website for aspca. and maybe the dog did feel like a mosquito, but you still deserved it for trying to kick a bug.
hayley320 0
are u just a moron or was it just a microscopic puppy. now the puppy is frightened of you and probably anyone else for the matter you have to love and nurture it a-hole
hayley320 0
are u just a moron or was it just a microscopic puppy. now the puppy is frightened of you and probably anyone else for the matter you have to love and nurture it a-hole
Alyssaxo3xo 0
how do you mistake a mosquito and a puppy are you an idiot! yhats horrible!...**** the puppys life!
hawkm 0
UR HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean u didnt know but if u have a dog, you should look before you kick. I hope the dog is okay.
i_am_tiff_21 0
You asshole! Look down next time.
meleecow 0
some big mosquito if your gonna "kick at it" idoit