Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML
Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML
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Top comments
Truthbringer 0
why did you have to call the girl that you like to help you out in that situation? seems like you could have called anyone.
Fidelis_fml 0
Good call, calling the girl you like... What happened after? I bet *it* looked a bit bigger cause of the swelling...
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Comments (114)
Jimboom 12
Is that an allergic reaction or are you just happy to see me? ... Ohh. I hope it's an allergic reaction otherwise that's not puss.
King_of_Kings 3
#11 yo Jimboom, ummm, i don't get it. shouldn't have stayed up all night.
mrcarmine 0
but she still came and helped you out and shit? she might be a keeper haha and #10, what???
blland 0
how, exactly, did someone get to your bed? If you're that easily accessible, I suggest never sleeping naked.
failblogftw 0
hahaha
ditlihi 0
You're not F'd. This is a gift from god.
JessObsess 0
Maybe the girl he likes is one of the friends that was already there, jeez. Y'all never had a crush on any of your friends? =P That's really embarrassing.
kelsliss 0
why do you sleep naked??
alex_vik 1
#17 - It feels better than wearing clothes.
ArmoredSandwich 0
#3 and #11 XD And sleeping naked is awesome :O
ellameno 2
This doesn't make sense on many levels, but the most obvious: How were you able to call anyone with your arms wrapped down? If your arms weren't wrapped down, why couldn't you get yourself out?