Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML
Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Truthbringer 0
why did you have to call the girl that you like to help you out in that situation? seems like you could have called anyone.
Fidelis_fml 0
Good call, calling the girl you like... What happened after? I bet *it* looked a bit bigger cause of the swelling...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (114)
Truthbringer 0
why did you have to call the girl that you like to help you out in that situation? seems like you could have called anyone.
Bobby64 29
I agree, this isn't making much sense at all. Oh, and, OP, you're always supposed to capitalize the word "I", not just sometimes.
yoimtrollin 24
Oh that sucks sorry OP, and 105, it doesn't really matter right now so just let it go.
sskarma23 9
maybe she was already there and was the only one willing to help...maybe?
Fidelis_fml 0
Good call, calling the girl you like... What happened after? I bet *it* looked a bit bigger cause of the swelling...
Jasper_fml 0
why on earth would you call the girl you like? call anyone, hell, call the pope, just dont call the girl you like.
tniggs 0
u just used pope and hell in the same sentence bravo sir bravo
lil_ham1644 29
It's not that hard... "Why the hell is the pope touching me there?? I'm a girl!"
King_of_Kings 3
it could have been worse. you could have had a boner.
shabbybeard 4
he DID just wake up...
kkooaallaass 0
why was the girl you liked called to cut you out? do you like your mom or someone related to you or something?
BigLord 0
Wow. That's gotta be one of the nastiest wake-up-calls in existance.
aibohphobia 0
woah. i would strangle my friend. no not really but i would be a bit annoyed
secretish 0
Wow. Thats gotta suck.
willma 0
he didnt call the girl he liked he was in ******* pain so she was probably shrieking and she was nice enough to come and cut him out! read it again :) and, nice work friends. always a good way to break the ice "oh your the guy who had the swelling on the nuts"
wilson0949 0
at least she go to see wat u had before going out with y lmao
NoozeHound 0
You definitely need to establish a **** buddy.