Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
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Top comments
bengermin 5
It'd probably have been way scarier if it had tusks.
KBeatz 5
You should have kicked the elephant in the chin.
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Comments (223)
mxsoldier 0
That is epic
KM96 24
No it's really disgusting. Especially as it was an old man. I expect that not many people would (1) find it funny if done to them or (2) wanted it done to them.
appleshowers3 0
O.O
suckmylife669 0
Kick the sex nose and run
Steve95401 49
I would guess that the elephant had a very small trunk.
AugustBurnsToast 14
These kind have no boundaries, they run wild and free ;)
rsunshine2020 13
And they happen to be everywhere lol
misspulkadot24 17
Gotta love old people and their shamelessness.
botanistjessica 24
I don't know a single old person who would do this.
misspulkadot24 17
I'm just saying, old people usually have no filter on what they say, do, or in this case, show.
SwagPuppet 3
I bet it was a nice and wrinkly elephant!
Irishgypsy 2
Did it look like an ant eater or was it circumcised?
Sandman578737 0
This is epic I will be using this every chance I get look out world here I come
lissalove17 8
Great. I guess we'll see you on Megan's Law then.
conor12 5
Um its called a penis
hockeyoceancity 13
Um it's called a joke.
GothicAngel17 24
25 - You're a moron.
drunkandfml 11
You don't say?
DocBastard 40
Conor12 - Tell me more about this "penis".
SammyS2012 21
Yes please; enlighten us!
HelloChrissy 9
What is this penis that you speak of?
donut_gurl 8
#37, #25 is a moron for using correct termenology?