Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
Today, I was developing film at Walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking my sweatshirt off. A creepy old man approached me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
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Top comments
fmlpro0987 0
I'd say that he's a Soon to be rapist.
ellybelly_502 4
Um I'm pretty sure it wasn't the word, but some creepy man coming up randomly and whispering ANYTHING remotely freakish would send chills down anyone's back, including your own.
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Comments (170)
Ayojedi 6
He's gonna do something with that sperm…
KrazieKleo 13
He better otherwise he's just another dick who can't perform!
BRLHP 24
I like that!
fabian21 0
I bet OP is that guy named Spreme, and the man just couldn't pronounce his name right.
socalsky 0
Lol @ 17 (:
ninjacutie 6
YAY! HURRAY FOR OTHER FML REFERENCES!! >:0 that's freaakiinngg amaazzinngg IM SO RELAAXXEEDDDJAJCUWHISUDOQLW;!1@jek92'!
Jdimp 1
114- da fck is wrong wit you?
spazz666 18
at #130, I was JUST thinking that. except in my mind it was "da fuq bro?"
imhungry112696 1
@130 lmao I was jus thinkin tha SAME thing!
OneNightStander 6
Jesus Saves... ...at Walmart
fmlpro0987 0
I'd say that he's a Soon to be rapist.
DynamicDave 11
This is one of those times FML needs a "WTF" button...
WaSiSimiLang 8
Why would that be a surprise? You get all kinds of weirdos in walmart... Run for ye life missy ye ain't wanna see where 'e's gonna stuff that sperm up!
Ch0sen 13
He just has Tourette's, nothing to worry about.
Ch0sen 13
He just has Tourette's, nothing to worry about.
Ch0sen 13
He just has Tourette's, nothing to worry about.
Ch0sen 13
Holy shit what is wrong with the commenting system I only pressed send once
Falalala243 0
61- I thought you were posting on purpose to make it sound like you had tourette's :p
IscoreOnU 19
64- QUADRUPLE POST with no thumbs down! When does that happen?
sareje 3
.
Noobish_Elk 18
Im not denying that this is some creepy shit.. But this is quite the speculation.
nikkibee50 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
U need to get laid.....seriously. A chill in your spine from the word "sperm"?
ellybelly_502 4
Um I'm pretty sure it wasn't the word, but some creepy man coming up randomly and whispering ANYTHING remotely freakish would send chills down anyone's back, including your own.
danny128 4
Well it sounds like the young guy did it for laughs
lmfao_shame 9
more awks if op is a man too
m0tl3ycru3 0
Forgot to clean up from last night?
zyth 4
That's what I thought.
jennawill10 10
You must be giving off a gay vibe?
iheartboobiies 0
Lmao.
block1 2
spern
jennawill10 10
Clever comment....you must have gotten straight C's in school, genius!
JeremyDahms 0
Well he got +68 and you got -69 so...
vitty_z 16
i can't imagine how creepy that was!
cc_the_beast 6
Simba!!
WaSiSimiLang 8
Simba: riiieeeoooowwww!! Hyenas: wow that was really good! Do that again! Simba (mufasa): RRRRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR... hyenas: O.O
Cyanidenhappines 0
I love the Lion King! It is one of my favorite movies!
typeozp 0
Seriously one of the best tattoos I've seen in a while...
leadman1989 16
This thread is about to make me cry with thoughts of that movie and my childhood. *sucks it up But boys don't cry.
vitty_z 16
thanks :P it's a bit depressing when some people ask what it is though..
TardxxxCake 4
That's the best tattoo I've ever seen
omggtfomi 1
I gave you a thumbs up because your tattoo Is kick ass
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Scar: Long live the King... Moufasa: Ahhhhhh! Simba: Noooooooo! Epic Fading
borkchop1992 15
im pretty sure that its time to refill your pepper spray can
danielabella94 0
People are ******* weird these days. That's why you stay away from Walmart. Far away
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
But how will you get everyday low prices?
MaaaanWTF 1
Weird people are EVERYWHERE so why just stay away from Walmart? Stay away from the world! Far away. I recommend the planet Pluto. **** the haters! Pluto has been and always will be a planet!
docscientist 10
Yeah, but you're really going to run that heating bill on pluto.
Dawnxxoo 11
creepy much?
CryMoreFMLs 15
I'm creepy. For example, I predated your profile. This guy takes it home at ******* wierdo.
ninjuh_wingman 29
That sperms about to go somewhere you dont want it to go