Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted, "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
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Top comments
jazzy21 0
You should've said yes, stood just out of arm-length and get the old man to take steps towards the other side of the street! Win-win scenario :P
AjaxF 0
Well, did you help him cross the street?
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Comments (80)
AjaxF 0
Well, did you help him cross the street?
SpicyDuck 22
That's so cliche. Why not walk them all the way home?! Why only across the street?
jazzy21 0
You should've said yes, stood just out of arm-length and get the old man to take steps towards the other side of the street! Win-win scenario :P
Dragons_corner 6
I would be so ******* mad at you because I could not touch a Japanese clicks **** but I would laugh about it later lol.
SmallTownCutie 0
15- racist much?
Dragons_corner 6
really I was moded. I really did not say something that bad.
macskapingvin 0
Should've told him that you'd help him cross the road, but he was on his own if he wanted to go hill-climbing.
jazzy21 0
I enjoy your comments xD
dragonaair 5
Damn perverted old men! There are so many FMLs like this one...
FYLDeep 26
Once you reach a certain age, you just don't give a shit anymore. That's why perdix is such a menace to society.
perdix 31
Ding, ding, ding! FYLDeep, you are absolutely right! 50 points for Gryffindor! Why did the stupid old man ask permission when he has license to do that shit anyways? He should have gone ahead and grabbed them and be prepared for the three outcomes: 1) She likes it. Very rare, but you just never know when a Hugh Hefner moment could happen. 2) She's annoyed but doesn't complain because she knows you'll be dead soon, and why not give you a little joy before you croak, or 3) She yells at you. At that point, you start sobbing and saying, "I'm an old man, I'm confused, I thought you were my late wife, Bertha May, come back from the dead!" I do it all the time, and I'm touching more tit than I ever did when I was young enough to do somethiñg about it.
RX_Paul 0
I can't wait until I'm that age.
emoooze 0
agreed:)
Tonamon 0
call the cops lol jking just run away and tell it bf or husband ( if you have one? ) and make them kick his bum....ish
jazzy21 0
Come on... he's an old man...
piemasterp 8
his bumish? wth is that?!?!
emoooze 0
it's ur fault for trying help:)
FMLephant 2
If OP didn't let the old man touch her ****, then why is this FML under intamacy?
emoooze 0
u clearly searched 'intimicy' o_O
FMLephant 2
No, its clearly written at the top of the screen. I clicked on "recent". Thank you
emoooze 0
ohhk, sorry:( lol im dumb:/
waswashere 0
...fucktard
shaannonwilding 0
Why can no one spell intimacy correctly?
MadisonDerp 16
#16 Wow.. You're smart, aren't you?
jbuckets_404 39
Shannon: 'Cuz no guy wants it!
Dragons_corner 6
I want to know too?? also the old guy seems cool.
rooye_fml 0
hey thats a complement