Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
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Top comments
bengermin 5
It'd probably have been way scarier if it had tusks.
KBeatz 5
You should have kicked the elephant in the chin.
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Comments (223)
babebeegurl95 7
Yikes!
conor12 5
Its called a penis
drunkandfml 11
It's called being creative while being funny
senor_awesome 14
Taking the "um" off of this comment didn't make it any less stupid. Why you felt the need to post the same one twice is beyond me...fail
iamabamf 17
Writing practically the same stupid comment twice isn't going to make people up vote it the second time. *Sorry, I didn't see 53's comment.
senor_awesome 14
55- Its okay, great minds think alike. Some just take a little longer to notice details :)
lajaynay 15
That's disturbing.,.
flashback.miss 28
well, at least he didn't ask OP to 'elephant swear'..... hopefully..
ma77 9
Ten points for creativity on his part. Still gross though.
Enslaved 38
The trick is seeing if he can pick up peanuts with that thing. o.O I once had a guy ask if I wanted to see his giant black **** that hung way below his knees. Turned out to be a tattoo on his shin of a rooster dangling on a noose.
animalsalways 6
Wait, you said yes?
alphalfa 7
Lmfao
rammy125 4
That sex nose will remember you forever. It'll probably get excited when it thinks about you. That is the magical part of this story
mercsl65 7
you should have asked him if hes seen one with out a trunk
fbear10 5
Creepy much?
hockeyoceancity 13
Hey elephants are huge! Largest of the animal kingdom! 6 and half feet long! If i was even remotely as big as an elephant i'd be still huge! Fun fact of the day!
ednusi 7
You're stupid sir, I'm sorry