Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, my girlfriend pawned in her mother's engagement ring so she could gamble at the pokies. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
Join her, the value of gold only keeps rising!
j4gerb0mblitz 6
Well you came for the booty didn't you?
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Comments (142)
KBeatz 5
Join her, the value of gold only keeps rising!
jesscarrr 10
Your picture just makes that comment all the better hahah
BunchieRules 31
Agreed, especially since all of the gold humans have ever mined could be compacted into a 20 meter cube.
Cashtangoteam 10
Yeah, new jersey is renowned for its vast fields of gold.
SkoomaKi 28
#24 - Are you talking about the amount of tanned people or actual gold? ;D
Drigr 9
I have a friend who buys and sells gold and silver, and just thought I'd point out, the value of gold has actually gone down almost 4% in the last 6 months..
ScaughtieHolden 11
*Orange people, #50
hockeyoceancity 13
53- No facts... I hate learning durning summer. :)
dylanmurre 4
Someone's watchin too much gold rush!!!
Starcatch77 20
67 - You're the one who was just annoying everyone with incorrect "fun" facts in another comment on another fml. During the summer.
outoftown 27
50, or buried tan people wearing gold?
Mojones 1
I think she plays minecraft
GothicAngel17 24
Well, at least she was trying to do something ... Err, productive?
GRRSOM 7
Well I ain't saying she a gold digger, but.... Wait, yes I am.
xFluttershy 7
She a gold digga'!
HouseElf 13
At least she wasn't digging for bodies! O.o
rainbowglass 5
This is probably how she got a promotion - by being productive. Join her, OP. You never know what could happen.
jesscarrr 10
Did she find any?
ladyLALAA 29
I hope so! Probably should have started with a metal detector!
PoseidonsSon 3
If minecraft taught me anything, probably not.
EvilPotato 15
How the hell did she even think of doing that in the first place ?
banni_fml 8
Been playing too much minecraft, obviously.
jjessen 20
No way man, if she was playing too much minecraft, she would be digging for diamonds, not gold.
Silentstrike 11
Too much Gold Rush: Alaska maybe.
j4gerb0mblitz 6
Well you came for the booty didn't you?
everydayFML2121 5
I say dump her, she's obviously just a gold digger
BradTheBrony 19
I'd say shut up, you're the forty-seventh person to make that joke.
iAmPaul 49
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
gracehi 33
Hey! You never know! She probably has a better chance of finding gold in her backyard than winning the lottery. So drop that scratch-off and grab a shovel!
onlychildFTW 34
No. She probably doesn't actually. Haha.
gracehi 33
I agree. She has virtually no chance at all of finding gold in her backyard. I was using what is known as "sarcastic humor" and comparing the over optimistic stupidity of OP's girlfriend to those who waste their money on the lottery.
DocBastard 40
Keesh, it actually worked quite well. It isn't Grace's fault that you have no sense of humour. Good day.
jake3292 5
I'd rather take the scratch off over back breaking work though...
Dracoboxer357 36
12- If it makes you feel better, Grace, I got it. However, sarcasm aside, OP's girlfriend probably Does stand a better chance of finding/digging up her "gold" (or anything of some value) than winning the lottery. She also has a better chance of just finding the money on the side of road too, as minuscule of a chance that is... :P
theneatoburrito 8
Considering you're more likely to hit four hole-in-ones in a row than win the lottery, OP's girlfriend probably DOES have a better chance of finding gold, finding silver, striking oil, and discovering Atlantis.
GothicAngel17 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Are you sure she wasn't digging for "gold" hair dye?
gracehi 33
If she needed "gold" hair dye then she'd be a brunette, which would mean she'd be smart, or at least not a complete moron. ;)
GothicAngel17 24
I think you'll find most "dumb blondes" are actually brunettes who've bleached their hair.
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
Are you a brunette then?
citymayer 7
Her hair's pink and she's being a stereotypical jerk. How does that work?
kodinbug 2
What I would like to know is, why the hell would gold hair dye be outside, under ground, and needing to be dug up. Seriously? Hair dye?
hwkfan1 10
You're in luck! She's a 69'er ;)
DjeePee 25
Why, oh why is your life ****** right now? Yes, the chance that she actually will find something is low, but there is a chance. Be a nice boyfriend and buy a metal detector, that's a more efficient way of treasure-hunting. Too bad you don't live in London, eBay tells me there's a lot to find in the Thames.
ebfbruh 0
Metal detectors don't find gold. Gold won't attract a magnet and that's how a metal detector works
DjeePee 25
And another dream of my childhood is blast away...
TheThunderXD 6
This. My grandmother does this to my grandfather all the time. She would go to a casino, and say she's going to te town where the casino is to buy coagrettes. She recently quit smoking,