Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML
Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
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Top comments
chrstygrl06 10
You should eat off plates. I find they're much handier.
MauriceWinifred 0
so? clean it. And it's not like you don't use plates. what's the big deal, ugh.
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Comments (68)
mrmerino 0
you're not eating off the table itself, are you?
duckie227 22
lesson one on creative writing: the author and the narrator are NOT the same person so there is no proof he actually did that. he was probably just inspired to write about it. writers pay close attention to detail hence why you assume he actually did such an act.
annihil8or 15
#10 cookie monster never eats off plates. What about that?
sweetniven 0
most authors r weird.
MyDogTastesBad 0
authors are messed up. FYL
apology89 2
Look it is VERY uncomfortable to know that, but are you really that shocked about it?
mrjude 3
Oh, the horror! He might've slept nude in the bed you also sleep in! OHNOES! You deserve it... Whatever it is, because it's not even a big deal. Get over it.
mrjude 3
And beyond what I wrote above... HIS NAKED ASS MIGHT'VE TOUCHED THE SAME TOILET SEAT YOU USE! AND HIS NAKED BODY IN THE TUB, TOO! RUN AWAAAAY!
bigbadtim 7
Don't complain, it's art.
missa838 0
Since you rented it out to someone else why wouldn't you clean the table first?Or do you just trust that they did nothing while they were there?YDI lmao