Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML
Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chrstygrl06 10
You should eat off plates. I find they're much handier.
MauriceWinifred 0
so? clean it. And it's not like you don't use plates. what's the big deal, ugh.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
evan_789 7
ghbdikcd
evan_789 7
sorry, dumb iPod lagg! I really need a new iPod. did you ever notice for all fmls, even the ydi ones are still fyl?
takeapieandrun 9
Mmmm... very appetizing don't you think?
MetallicaRules19 4
theres a new invention called a plate?
Hanimon 0
Why would anyone enjoy his naked ass on a cold table
Sadochan 0
Wait. No utensils or nothing? That's just as disgusting.
MizzErikaHart 8
just clean the table... like you would the toilet, or shower, or anything else his ass may have been on.
docscientist 10
Thank you, 30. Seriously.
Lennsik 4
While cleaning the table will do the trick, I'm quite sure no one in their right mind would come home to expect that some author had sat his bare ass on the table and wrote about it. Actually, I think the line stops right around where he was naked in their kitchen. But eh, they rented it out to him, nothing they can do about it.
Mokiikom_fml 8
Dude, if you rented a place to someone, anyone in their right mind IS supposed to expect it to be all dirty. Cleaning is a necessity.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Well, maybe you should try upgrading to silverware? Perhaps? Maybe? Yes, you should. Either that or enjoy licking those perfectly lump, plump brown crumbs off of the table.
my2centsworth 15
You do make a practice of cleaning your table on a regular basis, do you not?
MauriceWinifred 0
so? clean it. And it's not like you don't use plates. what's the big deal, ugh.
MetallicaRules19 4
best picture right there
10_4Franky 0
Um, pussy cat....naked woman.....book....whaaaaat??
eskimocallboy 0
nice picture;D
Thabb 0
I knew all these comments would be about the picture the second I saw it
shortrevolution 0
I totally did too haha
mattolirfl 0
wood to wood it feels good, to let it hang then rub my Wang, in this house of logs only mine can I take home but first to milk a necter of life, damn I need a wife, you rent out you run all manner of risks from your tenants, ydi x
IGotServedcouk 0
That's beautiful /wipes eye.
michellenKG 5
hahaha WIN
memo619 0
I say burn it and buy a new one
MasterE56 4
indeed
Jimboom 12
I wouldn't worry about that... the stains on table however I would worry about...
chrstygrl06 10
You should eat off plates. I find they're much handier.
unseenalien 5
lol, win
locachick101 0
well then clean the table then they do have things to clean tables these day. but then again that is kinda weird to sit naked on SOMEONE ELSES table though...