Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn't allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Woah, mom got game. Go mom!
Poppy8127 15
Moms are the best.
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Comments (111)
Poppy8127 15
Moms are the best.
bluehero 17
I said the exact same thing you did on a separate FML as comment #1. I still agree, moms are the best.
mn_shr 22
Not much of a wing-woman though
Zebediabolical 45
She's her own wingwoman!
JACKxRAWR 22
#1, apparently the guys at the bar thought so too. ;)
tjv3 10
Gross that means that you mom left you so she could get double teamed. Sorry OP
DBallin 10
#55, youdontsay.jpg
THEsuperMANLYman 10
Wait...both? Just wow
Wizardo 34
Woah, mom got game. Go mom!
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
MILF! MILF! MILF! MILF!
DKjazz 20
There were two guys, so that's Mother We'd Like to ****, or MWLF. Time to brush up on welsh pronunciation, guys.
TheDrifter 24
Smooth. Do you remember what she did and said? Do that, it obviously works.
euphoricness 28
She offered a bj Instant game!
DyslexicPanda 12
She was just leading by example.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Twat swatted..... That sucks Op!
zango1 15
Twat swatted is a new one to me. I always thought beaver damn was the female equivalent of **** block.
syki 22
I'm partial to vajected and snatch latched.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Those are new to me! I'll keep those in mind for when the situation arises!
buddy51 23
Kunt-punted.....
M3DIC4T3 29
Wow OP. At least now you know not to trust her with your possible love life opportunities.
perdix 31
Wait until you grow up. You'll be a hot cougar scoring threesomes!
Harmell 7
Is your name Stacy, because your mom has obviously got it going on!
JACKxRAWR 22
Doesn't seem like those guys had to wait for too long though. ;)
tragicnightmare 15
they know it might be wrong, but they're in love with Stacys 's mom
olpally 33
Your moms a selfish bitch, she tried to do something nice and just left you there. Unbelievable. Can't even give you one guy, bad mom!
perdix 31
#9, maybe she's taking them for a test-drive to make sure they are worthy of her daughter. A good wingman is always ready to take two for the team!
olpally 33
She better give excellent road head if that's what you mean by test driving them, perdix... she better come back with good results! ;)
perdix 31
Poor Stacey! Sorry you're drinking alone.
Perfectly_Killer 14
You are never alone when Jack is near.
anythingmustbe 18
She was just being a good mum and making sure they were suitable for you. I mean she must have been done it before? Have you ever noticed your mum or any of your ex-boyfriends particularly close?