Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML
Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
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Top comments
Jonkbaby 23
It takes time my friend, keep it up. Also, do you think you may be lactose sensitive? There are great dairy alternatives available
Joseph Elvin Legg 7
you ate Yoghurt instead of yogurt. that was your problem. honestly hope you feel better.
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Comments (7)
Jonkbaby 23
It takes time my friend, keep it up. Also, do you think you may be lactose sensitive? There are great dairy alternatives available
Brightside86 31
Been there, Sometimes I decide to go on a veggies and chicken breast diet. Eventually get a massive headache and end up with Taco Bell to remedy it.
treehead42 10
Start with a smaller amount. Have a little bit of fruit for breakfast and half a salad for lunch as an example. Rice and bananas are also good for settling stomaches. Your body is rejecting it because it is used to something completely different. If just that causes you to massively throw up twice, that is really bad news for your health. I honestly recommend seeking a nutritionists help.
Joseph Elvin Legg 7
you ate Yoghurt instead of yogurt. that was your problem. honestly hope you feel better.
Wadlaen 24
You're clearly not cut out for a healthy lifestyle - stick to McDonald's and enjoy life!😉
Talented73 54
You might have a dairy issue. Try rice and beans. make a vegetable salad. Eat fresh fruits.
Annies 20
Gotta love it when you’re just trying to be healthy but your digestive system isn’t being a team player. In my case, I’m trying to gain weight because I’m underweight, but as soon as my body figured out what I was trying to do, it forced me to become nauseous and throw up any time I eat so much as one cracker.