Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke about me and I jokingly gave him a light push on the shoulder. Half a second after I touched him, he threw himself back and hit the floor yelling in "pain". Now I'm suspended because of this psycho. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
You can't lighten the mood like that in this day and age, mon frère. Everyone gets upset by everything.
Revert Back 6
ur boss needs to lighten up, has humor died in his life? i thought it was funny as
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Comments (22)
BurnInDemonFire 39
You can't lighten the mood like that in this day and age, mon frère. Everyone gets upset by everything.
Ashamed_Sister 60
It's so sad that you're right. In this day and age so many people get upset about the most trivial reasons and think being offended gives them some additional rights.
Mathalamus 25
Honestly, I'd be fine with that. Most jokes are rather inappropriate.
Revert Back 6
ur boss needs to lighten up, has humor died in his life? i thought it was funny as
Eric Henning 7
That is how bosses become unemployed... they can not afford to risk anything that even pretends to look flirtatious
baristalbc 18
He can’t lighten up. If she’d gone to HR first (obviously she’s not that kind of person, but they do exist and in droves) he very quickly would be fighting for his job. This is life now, you can’t offend ANYONE, even unintentionally. Sad to say, but I don’t blame him for doing what he did.
BorderCount 5
At least now you know your boss hates you.
nemcali 34
Her boss is just a moron
mas12806 24
Deny it, don’t make this ridiculous case easy for them
nemcali 34
Tell HR you thought he did it by mistake but if it’s not the case that he has harassed you
Memnoc 26
Tell HR that he did it on purpose, and grabbed your behind. It made YOU feel uncomfortable, and as a defense tactic you tried to make a joke to make the situation less tense.
WeirdUS 30
Wait what? So she should lie about being harassed? Not only is that awful that is wildly illegal.
Memnoc 26
How do you know he didn't do it on purpose? And because she was trying to lighten the mood, he reports her? Who's the one lying?
Traveling_Book 9
Ah yes lie to get her boss fired and possibly ruin his life. What’s the worst that could happen?
acmariner99 25
Geez people get offended by everything.
Peaches1914 13
No, just No
RichardPencil 32
Gold-digger!
NPDclusterBaware 8
He's the one that touched you so IDG why'd he go to hr