Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns, and it hurts to sit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML
Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML
Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML
Today, I stopped taking prescription narcotics for pain, which make you constipated. I also enjoyed a few beers. Because of this collaboration, I had a very painful first turd followed by a flow of burning liquid. I cried. FML
Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML
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Top comments
jarrettd 27
I know what you're all thinking. Don't you do it. Don't post anything regarding the words "shitty" or the word "situation" in any order At all Ever.
DivTech 7
Taco Bell much?
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Comments (102)
faifai_fml 21
Studies have shown that the cranberry juice pills are more effective than the actual juice. It's weird, but that's science for you. Sorry buddy, that's no fun.
ColorOfSoul 19
I think you were right about having an infection.
vampy719 17
Cranberry pills and antibiotics are the way to go my friend
melanielovejeff 15
Water does the job just as well. Water is a natural detox. Did you have to drink cranberry juice? Did your doctor say that?
sailorsaturn10 5
It's not that they had to drink the juice. More of a very common suggestion if you feel a UTI coming on.
melanielovejeff 15
I disagree #45 There are different a ways to get bladder infections. One way is by holding your pee for 4 hours when you have the "gotta go" feeling. I also know a girl who gets bladder infections on a regular basis as a result of being molested as a child. Therefore, she will go to the doctors and receive a prescription drink. The reason I made the specific comment about water is because any detox that a person goes on, the main requirement is drinking umpteen classes of water a day to flush the system. I rarely drink anything but water, and I've never had a bladder infection. Anyways, since I've never had a bladder infection, I don't know much about them. That's why I posed my original comment as a question to OP.
Grimmerie 31
UTIs are very common in the trans community because a lot of us have issues with bathrooms (I'm personally reluctant to use them because people often yell at me that I'm in the wrong place and that's terrifying for me). Speaking from experience - drinking tons of water and voiding often is a good idea. Drinking nothing just exacerbates the issue. I get UTIs every few months and I always make a point of drinking several litres of water a day, and it gets rid of it way faster than if I were barely drinking.
team_hale 11
What a terrible shituation
XxDanno316xX 27
Go away
illmatica 17
Five likes and I will cuss out a teacher
XxDanno316xX 27
5 dislikes will you be quiet?
ohSNAPyall 27
No. I like teachers.
WinterChild 20
Hope you chose to do this on a day you don't work or go to school.
warrenhoward42 20
oh, oh dear, oh that is so bad.
fmlsams 27
FYL, OP! Be careful with the cranberry juice though. The sugar in it can actually make a UTI or bladder infection worse. Go to the grocery and get some cranberry capsules - same benefit, but without the sugar! :)
vet1 20
Nonsense, unless you're diabetic, no glucose enters the urine...
ellymae96 25
Did you get the cranberry juice from a coffee shop?