Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and nausea. I sat in the waiting room for six hours, just to be told, “We don’t know what’s wrong with you. Try taking Gravol and Tylenol and maybe lay off the fatty foods.” I feel like shit. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
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Top comments
redbeater 5
aww shit.
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
I shouldn't be laughing, but I am.
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Comments (132)
penelopecruise 2
first
bamagrl410 31
I bet this gets modded in the next hour or so. You fail. No one is interested.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
i wish my penis could be over stretched :(
PushMyButtons 5
I thought about that penis comment and it reminded me of the taffy puller in a willy wonka movie......
deannoz 0
Be prepared for MODERATION. ~Ques sirin~
darlinqqbella 0
how is that even possible? ouchh.
deannoz 0
~Ques shitty situation and other shit jokes on first comment and in the comments section~
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Piggies do not say moo! they oink.
deannoz 0
What does that have to do with anything, #32?
rallets 23
idk #28 havent seen any puns looks like youre full of shit
MaximilianMarche 0
look at # 17 And 21 profile. superfreaks. just saying.
rallets 23
well aint that some shit looks like were in deep shit you gotta be ******** me they must be ******** bricks up shit creek without a paddle
Sadochan 0
Fagget. You're so full of shit OP. You constpated ****. :P
gamerhead 3
time for some spring cleaning!!!
pytel93 0
you're cute lol. find me on facebook! :)
pytel93 0
wow you're cute
Wynton 0
sooooooo...... your place? mi place?.. :|
thrice643 7
sounds like fun...
LosAngelesSon 8
your profile pic looks lewd...
Mylifeskool 0
hahaha his pic made me laugh so hard
redbeater 5
aww shit.
Lisimal 7
Bloody shit!
rallets 23
HOLY SHIT!!!
hobojo11 0
oh shit been eatin to much shit it herts like shit i can use shut so much mor but im soo
tnb0005 0
this just happened to my friend a week ago! fyl. sorry :(
thesock339 0
this happened to me a couple of years ago. trust me, it's the worst.
zolltf 4
Happened to me, I was litterally on the ground because ai couldn't stand up from the pain.
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
I shouldn't be laughing, but I am.
jakegryan 0
its ok, were laughing with them... not directly at them
mks100 0
saaame!!!
laya_fml 26
9- There was a chance that I was laughing directly at OP
jakegryan 0
i remember my college hazing days ahhh good times... QQ
anorexicbarbie 8
I didn't even think that was possible...wow!
XoX_CUPCAKES_XoX 0
ok i think i just got that your picture is pikachu right?
scottovious 0
wow, sorry, that sucks
disco2466 8
take a poo
jakegryan 0
he obviously cant, genius
thisgirl2u 9
Well if he wasn't such a tight ass maybe he could..
jakegryan 0
haha
AthinaMarie 0
Now what the hell would OP ever do without you? I am guessing he probably already thought of taking a shit.
Howljerk 0
Nice eyes
Miii_fml 0
lmao!
CanadianMuse 0
OP will need to have Enema shoved in the bum & wait 40 - 70 seconds until running to empty the poop...
dudeitsdanny 10
I.. D... How does this happen? Is this why my mom would tell me not to hold it in? But FYL. Drink some prune juice.
deannoz 0
Yes, indeed, this is why your mother told you not to hold it in ;]
Serec 0
Oh I am a vegetarian, I still get constipated. my longest time without taking a shit while being a vegetarian is about 5 days.
Serec 0
Oh I am a vegetarian, I still get constipated. my longest time without taking a shit while being a vegetarian is about 5 days.