Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I had bad diarrhea. I went to the toilet seven times while my cousins came to spend time with me. I spent more time in the toilet than I did with them. Once they'd left, I went to the toilet for what would be the eighth time in a couple of hours. I now can no longer feel my ass. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML
Today, I developed a serious case of diarrhea. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't suffering from a severe cough as well. I'm terrified to cough again, because I'm running out of clean underwear. FML
Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dr_Alex 10
Ok, diarrhea sucks, FYL. But... Why on Earth are you talking about sleeping naked and sharting in bed as if you don't have any say in that?! Pun on the damn underpants and make your life a little easier!
Jaymail 19
I think we’ve all been there. And done that. I really feel for you. Please get better fast.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
Jaymail 19
I think we’ve all been there. And done that. I really feel for you. Please get better fast.
Yudith 28
I read the first sentence, and five Japanese women in spandex pantomiming the sentence immediately came to mind. I watch too much weird videos. Try a bidet for the pain, or a bowl of lukewarm water and a washcloth.
Dr_Alex 10
Ok, diarrhea sucks, FYL. But... Why on Earth are you talking about sleeping naked and sharting in bed as if you don't have any say in that?! Pun on the damn underpants and make your life a little easier!
Vesi 30
OK lots of people are missing this.. but start with wet wipes (do not flush!) and look for wipes with witch-hazel for once you are clean. It will save your bunghole like you would not believe!