Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
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Top comments
nzhx 23
I don't understand why you're so bothered, you're the one that chose to have a threesome? And for those commenting that he's "using her as a coverup" - 1) it was a threesome, a sexual act in which all members interact with one another and 2) bisexuals exist 3) kindly shut the **** up oh my god
BitterSavage 20
Most threesomes seem to ruin people's relationships.
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Comments (161)
meghanclean 17
When in a sexual relationship, if you're going to try something new, every limit needs to be talked about. You need to state what makes you uncomfortable, what you want and you always need a safeword even if it's vanilla sex. Also, if you're going to have a threesome, why didn't you know your boyfriend was bisexual beforehand?
swtcontradiction 11
Right? I don't understand why this wasn't discussed beforehand. She should have been clear of her expectations and limits
revolvearoundme 15
You realize us guys have our own penises and access to them when ever we want. We also know what feels good to us so it would be kind of obvious what to do. I hope you took mental notes because what he did is probably what he'd really like you to do...
Vlen_fml 20
accidentally replied to the wrong comment.
Emmy0806 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I believe he's gay. Am I abnormal or is that whole situation just completely f ed up?
hoosierholla 17
He could be bisexual. And it's not ****** up.
isuckwithnames 22
Yeah because he went down.
Vlen_fml 20
he's most likely Bi, strictly straight guy's don't typically agree to a Devils Threesome outside of ****, and the few that do definitely don't gargle each others junk.
hoosierholla 17
Why? Because he decided to partake in the threesome that op initiated?
Sparx1_1 16
Just because her b/f sucked a **** does not mean he's suddenly gay or bi. Straight guys can suck a dick and still be straight - it's called experimenting. The biggest problem I see here is that OP expected to be the center of attention without bothering to confirm that she would in fact be the center of attention. Bringing another person into the bedroom is a big deal and any couple that expects to last as a couple would have talked about who will be doing what first including the possibility of guy/guy action.
ApparentlyNotEno 28
This was my first reaction as well. While we don't know the particulars, it sounds very much as if she wanted to have two men paying undivided attention to herself, and is upset that they paid some to each other. So much that it's the only thing she's taking away from the entire experience... that just seems selfish on her part to me. Add to that that they clearly did not discuss this well enough beforehand to lay out the rules and boundaries... I think YDI, OP.
Vlen_fml 20
I've never heard of a strictly straight guy willing to suck off another dude outside of scoring drugs or protecting themselves in prison, experimentation be damned. there's nothing wrong with being Bisexual, but outside of the above mentioned scenarios and rape, I would never believe someone saying they were strictly straight after that.
leogachi 15
@97 It doesn't matter if you believe it or not.
kaybessxo 16
the first comment I genuinely relate to on here, took the words right outta my head!! Agreed :)
steam_engenius 21
@97, not everyone is necessarily clear on what their sexual identity is. I have experimented with women in the past and realized it did nothing for me. Just because I tried it, it doesn't mean I'm bisexual or gay. It's probably more common than you think.
dnissila 10
Nah you suck dick you a little gay.
helveeta 11
There was an Amy schumer skit about that haha!
aspecialspecial 21
Reasons to never have a threesome
Yudith_fml 11
It sounds as if the lady was twiddling her tumbs while her two partners were having fun together all by themselves. FYL indeed, lady.
juggalo2 22
Well he does have the home court advantage. Besides, it isn't gay if it's in a 3way.
Leauge 13
Maybe your boyfriend is bisexual.