Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML
Today, and for the last six months, I've been on a medication that greatly improves the main symptoms of my chronic illness. Too bad it also gives me chronic diarrhea. I feel much better and can function better than I have since my teens, but I haven't taken a solid dump in half a year. FML
Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML
Today, I had to repeat myself multiple times and dumb down all my anatomical terms and symptoms while describing my illness to my doctor. I want to switch, but my insurance won’t cover another one for at least 60 more days. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML
Today, I realized that the medication I take because of bowel issues only works for about 6 hours. After that, it's one run to the toilet after another. The problem is that I can only take it twice a day. FML
Today, I found out that my doctor got mad I was prescribed Suboxone. Why? He had me in patches and pills when I wanted neither. I found relief and he took it as an issue, but this morning he wrote, "I know you're a druggie" in my file. I've never touched street drugs, and the cherry on top was, "You homeless yet?" A DOCTOR. FML
Today, and for years, I have been on a medication for a neurological disease that put many restrictions on me. My doctor had finally told me that the medication was working very well and lifted some of my restrictions. I then found out that the drug is no longer sold in my country, and that there is no substitute. FML
Today, sleep-deprived and thinking I tolerated my low dose of diabetes medication Metformin well, I upped my dose like the bottle said to. My asshole has yet to forgive me. FML
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Top comments
ktm1313 17
Ask your doctor to try it for three months and see if she's butt hurt about it.
AviShtap 20
Oh god....FOAM!?
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Comments (45)
princesskammm 20
That's a new one. Good luck on getting that switched, OP.
princesskammm 20
Sounds like a true pain in the ass.
Meettitan 14
First wasn't good enough? You had to go and ruin TWO comments?
thefaekitten 29
Sounds like a true pain in the ass that you cant comment once.
AviShtap 20
Oh god....FOAM!?
drunkmunkey 24
depending on where you go I'm sure you can find people willing to put anything up there
slingerslasher 24
I prefer fire extinguisher fluid myself.
aDiplodocus 11
Guess OP's Doctor is used to things up her butt ?
strange_ness 16
That sounds painfully. Sorry OP. Hopefully they can find a different medication for you
twerking_riggs 22
your grammar is painfully
strange_ness 16
My bad, autocorrect. *painful. Happy? -_-
ktm1313 17
Ask your doctor to try it for three months and see if she's butt hurt about it.
ananicosia 28
Is there any other treatment you can try for your specific ailment that is less uncomfortable?
prettygurl89 16
Dear God. I am SO SORRY :(
Darkness_Hate 29
Your treatment looks like a pain in the ass.. FYL.
revolvearoundme 15
I hope not. If butt related humor is abolished it means the carebears have taken over the world. Take a stand for butt related humor, make some airplane noises and crop dust a friend, or an enemy!
A07 48
Sadly no, the war against bad puns intensifies with every new member
Clive_Anderson 4
And for everyone's member there's a bad pun.
Goblin182 27
I know of people who would pay good money for that.