Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
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Top comments
nzhx 23
I don't understand why you're so bothered, you're the one that chose to have a threesome? And for those commenting that he's "using her as a coverup" - 1) it was a threesome, a sexual act in which all members interact with one another and 2) bisexuals exist 3) kindly shut the **** up oh my god
BitterSavage 20
Most threesomes seem to ruin people's relationships.
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Comments (161)
Isa_fml 20
Why? That sounds hot. I wish my partner would go for that.
9a_1z 12
It does sound kinda hot, but realistically I'm a boring monogamist and would not be happy to see my partner with another man. It's one of those fantasy vs reality situations, I suspect OP hadn't fully figured out where the boundary lay for her.
22JB 11
I'm guessing he was "Super" excited about that threesome.
elcee1987 18
What?
davek 36
Your life sucks... and so does your boyfriend. (Not getting tired of that joke.)
atlien247 16
So... No Eiffel Tower then, I'm guessing. Shame.
Vlen_fml 20
it bothers me greatly that I know exactly what you're talking about, damn it Lucifer.
leogachi 15
@44 My friends and I call it spit-roasting.
914smv 18
Im not gonna comment like most ppl, I would just tell you to talk to your bf and express your concerns or observations about the situation.
laden_swallow09 35
"Im not gonna comment like most ppl…" Yet here you are.
MrSmush 19
Guys now what guys like, same with girls
bad_boyfriend 10
I don't really get what the issue is. Your bf is bisexual, did you not know this before?
leogachi 15
@53 He may not be. It could be that it didn't bother him in the moment.
aeryn97 17
Maybe the fml isn't the fact he did a ******** but maybe he was better than her? that'd be a definite FYL. But since you were wanting the threesome, YDI. just a tip, if you build things up to be amazing in your head, then you may find yourself often disappointed.
GhostFox 34
I kind of read this as the fantasy not living up to expectations and the most memorable thing was that OP's BF was good at ********, while the rest of the threesome fell flat.
flyingflies 36
That's so hot!