Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
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Top comments
nzhx 23
I don't understand why you're so bothered, you're the one that chose to have a threesome? And for those commenting that he's "using her as a coverup" - 1) it was a threesome, a sexual act in which all members interact with one another and 2) bisexuals exist 3) kindly shut the **** up oh my god
BitterSavage 20
Most threesomes seem to ruin people's relationships.
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Comments (161)
Lunchy306 8
relax he is with you, course he is probably Bi, but so what! He still comes home to you right? Besides pay attention and do the things he does, maybe he likes that and that will keep him from straying.
LegitimateSalmon 12
Well the fact that he gave another guy a ******* in the first place is a red flag in my book
the_real_dvd 21
Ok seriously, I don't know why I have to explain this to people. First, if you're in a committed relationship, don't have a threesome. But if you decide to, freakin discuss beforehand what you are comfortable with your partner doing and what you aren't, and be CLEAR about it. The middle of what should be an adventurous and bonding experience is no time to start feeling jealous, or as in this case shocked. You're in a relationship. You should know how to communicate this.
militarybrat 21
He cant be bi? Why not discuss it instead of assuming.
ziggy452 6
**** gay people
Tamagotchi_fml 3
Its a little funny, im a bisexual boy and ive probably sucked more boys off than my gf, also deeper, and swallows. My gf didn't start to suck me until a few months ago and recently swallowing because it saw easier to clean upp the mess. She also barely can suck half of it. We have beem together over a year.
rockydify 22
Of course guys give the best blow jobs. Bigger mouths, intimate knowledge. I don't know why straight guys don't do this all the time.
Jets4Life89 4
He's definitely gay.
GamerMom392 19
You deserve it. Literally. You invited this to happen by participating in a threesome. Don't act surprised when they backfire!
blissfully_me 16
Reality is seldom better than, or even as good as fantasy. Some things should stay fantasies. That said - if you are going to have a threesome you should definitely take the time to set ground rules what you're okay with and what you're not - but realise you might not know you're not okay with something until it happens - and you hate it.