Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
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Top comments
ImmaB3AST 7
what the hell are you? a vacuum cleaner?
chick011 0
Must have been really good?
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Comments (113)
robchfra 5
That sucks.
Marktheshark 0
Hahaha punny
changesinme 0
That's some ******* you're givin?
CatEyes66 0
Do you have braces? Which made him so nervous that he had a panic attack.
Deathhound 27
What did you do to him if I may ask? Or he is just not made for having ********, haha.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Nein nein nein!! You're doing et wrong!! D:<
ally_85 1
explain??
ThreeSheetsGone 12
So now the question is: Can you suck-start a Harley? You haven't made it in the BJ world until you can do that.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Geez, I can't imagine what you could have done to cause that...? Maybe he was so nervous about it beforehand that anxiety got the best of him and he freaked? Sucks way more for him, he's probably mortified.
enonymous 9
Giving head with braces will give anyone a panic attack...
Georgieeporgiee 9
In the literal sense... An oh dear... I'm getting braces soon...
enonymous 9
Stop giving head Georgie... I know I know it's a hard thing to give up. Take up smoking it's like a smaller penis(not in my case however)
CanadianPuckHead 4
Apperentley she blows
lolx7 5
in my opinion I think ******** are nasty. do u guys think us girls like it at all?!?
enonymous 9
108 - I find holding your purse in a store nasty, sat thru the twilight saga and bought packs of tampons for you when you needed them. One way or another someone's blowing me at some point.
iDoubtWhales 7
Oh that? That's an ******
cavalos94 0
37 - yeah Avenged Sevenfold foREVer!!!
tooFLY 0
Oh, I see what you did there. 86--At age 14, do you really need to be giving out BJs? Yeah, I didn't think so.
austinkiser 3
Anyone notice op is post #129 lol
paynee 0
I see what ya did there
itsaseceret 5
sucks more for him? actually, he didn't get sucked at all..
legitimmeee 0
What's a ******* ?
blob619 0
Ask your mommy ;)
konstantinos616 17
Actually, it blows
greenman42 10
108-my girlfriend loves ********, and she begs me to let her give me one
chick011 0
Must have been really good?
EvilPotato 15
or really bad.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Or he's a noob..
CryMoreFMLs 15
Small posibility he might be gay.
j_cat187 20
Extreme blow-job op is so full of win
TaylorTotsYumm 10
*tears up* "just so good"
boomsl4ng 11
63 ahahahahah i see what u did there!!
Wreckless_fml 6
63 made me laugh :')
born_hustla 26
Word!
TheresNoEffingwa 7
I was reading this with my boyfriend, and now he wants to "borrow your mouth". Thanks a lot Nublet
jayer_hooo 0
rofl great comments here
wishfulmidget 0
well it can only get better from there!:D
NitroTonicsFML 4
He just couldn't handle the pressure.
ImmaB3AST 7
what the hell are you? a vacuum cleaner?
supertacowaffle 41
LOL
olpally 33
Sucking and swallowing like one.. that's for sure..
dudeitsdanny 10
....Were you chewing on it or something? Cause I'd be scared, if a girl acted like she's about to bit it off o.o Or maybe it was just an incredibly intense ******!
Grimmerie 31
introducing, for your chewing pleasure - **** gum!
roobin302 0
really? i dont believe it, give me a bj to second the motion...
DamnSmooth 0
Wow ... I had some slight anxiety & panic attacks growing up. However none of those were a direct result from giving and/or receiving oral sex. The more I hear about this generation the more I want to bash open the back of it's skull with a hammer.
ImmaB3AST 7
the more I read this, the more I wanted to bash you in the back of the skull with a hammer
dudeitsdanny 10
The more I read this, the more I wish I had a skull-shaped hammer
DamnSmooth 0
It's ok. Obviously, hearing the truth & facing reality can't be easy for you.
EmmyBabe_fml 0
Maybe because you never gave and/or received oral??:)
Nublet 10
"This generation?" I don't think I'm exactly part of the current generation.
Gubbon 17
its *
Glitterhinoceros 14
Aww, look what you did now, OP :(
StuuPididiot 4
yer pic is hot
Nublet 10
What did I do?
Doortje 30
Maybe you should practice your blowing skills. I've heard a harmonica can help with this.
Retired_Panda 7
oh god...that was a hilarious fml lmao
mcxhunni 0
you do know giving head isnt actually blowing, right? O.o
Jesus_Christ69 0
I don't think 109 read that FML...
Jesus_Christ69 0
106* my bad..