Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
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Top comments
Learxst 0
I lol'd. But here's a thing. Us guys are clueless. If something doesn't feel good, or if he's doing something wrong... tell him. He will correct himself, and it'll be much easier for the both of you.
deathbunny256 0
"Hewwo! My name is Ms Boob! And you aw?"
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Comments (177)
Learxst 0
I lol'd. But here's a thing. Us guys are clueless. If something doesn't feel good, or if he's doing something wrong... tell him. He will correct himself, and it'll be much easier for the both of you.
LOLPWNTHAHA 0
this. also thats ******* awesome lmao. "Hi mrs nipple, is it cold in here for you too?.."
no1askdu 5
but this method doesnt always work.. but it is pretty funny...not haha funny but funny enough
Kaination 0
In the unforeseen instance where I actually manage to get my hands on a pair of boobies I AM SO DOING THIS
NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM 0
"OM NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM"
ILIEKGIRLS 5
now that's my idea of fun! seriously.
CFR 0
@#38 You talk about getting you hands on a pair of "boobies" like there wasn't a whole woman attached to them.
CFR 0
#68 *your and that wasn't mean to sound hostile =P
lolwatlol 0
Yeah, she should def tell him making her boobs talk doesnt feel good, otherwise he wouldnt ever notice that! lolwut
bishoprsv2 0
#47 WINNNNNNNNNNER!!!
ohhdamn 0
i would soo do that if i were a guy =P
STVader 0
wait, girls don't like that?
goldengophers12 0
Well, in most cases it's easier to get your hands on "boobies" than the whole girl because generally boobs fit in your hand better than boobs + attached body. In unrelated news (to the above), I think that this girl deserved it. It's not like anyone is forcing this guy to be her boyfriend, and since it is here boy friend, I'd hope she'd know the guy well enough that this doesn't come as much of a surprise. So I say you deserved it.
codyxfail 0
@#71 You talk about hands like they would want to go anywhere near you.
ashleymarie37 0
boobies?...c'mon now who says that above the age of 12.
pink_pimptress 0
but how many guys are honestly that clueless. yeah, guys often could use pointers, but talking boobs, really?!?!?
dizzy_dizzy 0
LMAO at #92, hahaha
emeraldstar102 3
hahaha would you like a girl to do that to your balls?
capslockisgood 19
161 yes
shadmed 0
Awww, that's hilariously cute. XDDDDD Yeah, what #1 said.
Muthalecka 1
He's a keeper!
thermos26 0
that is actually really funny
OppositesAttract_fml 0
That's actually really cute. XD I could so see myself doing it... on SOME occasions. x)
iain08 2
are you a guy?
olisykes_ 0
are you an idiot?
IamSpartacus 0
Haha, pwned by #40.
deathbunny256 0
"Hewwo! My name is Ms Boob! And you aw?"
crazy_cat_lady 0
That's sexy as hell.
flyboy57 0
that sounds fun. did he motorboat them too?
SeeAreKay 0
Not really bad. Especially if it's turning him on.. Which I hope it would if that's his idea of foreplay
LovelyChaotic 0
haha. Let him have his fun.
Anonanimal 0
agreed
kkroberts072592 7
Agreed!!