Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
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Top comments
choshaki 8
This kid probably has some issues
hunterhound 0
It wasnt today ????!!??? WTF
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Comments (119)
florido_fml 10
Maybe he was trying to be a little trooper and let you know he's not going to cry this time?
btstig 11
Should have chased him and took his candy bag.
every1luvsboners 11
Kids are like stray cats; you feed them once they never stop asking. You need to hand out vegetables on Halloween next year.
zombicidal 11
and dental floss and pennies
Cratbat 3
28, Pennies? Lol you give kids money and you'll never see the end of them.
blue_mist 7
Yeah but a single penny for a lot of kids might...
Angelice_fml 0
Awwww, it sounds like he's special. (: Don't be too hard on him.
theguy33 1
I would give the kid candy if it was the middle of summer and he came to my door and said trick or treat.
every1luvsboners 11
That's because you're registered with the state and want to show kids the "playground" under your house.
ieatmusicxD 0
Win.
blue_mist 7
Ooh ouch dude. Watch what your saying! (23)
VDubbGrrl 4
I would have given the kid candy too. And really dude, talking about a basement "playground" when your name is "every1luvsboners".... Easy to see who the real creeper is here.
theguy33 1
I agree with 106 you ******* ****** 23
luvliidee21 5
where is this kids mother!!!!
blue_mist 7
Seriously!
badactor009 0
Exactly! You have to assume dear old mom and dad gotta know that their little bundle of joy is not a cup overflowing with goodness. Yet they unleash him on an unsuspecting world.
J3R3MYY 14
Haha the irony out of this suggestion.. Total fail.
perdix 31
He wasn't mentally ready for the candy on Halloween, so he came back when he was in the candy zone. Why can't you go along with his mental needs?
FYLDeep 26
You shouldn't have answered the door then. Whenever little kids come up to the door you know they're just going to be asking for something, be it free candy or for you to buy some cookies or some bullshit. Hell, just the other day I had a little kid come up to my house saying something like, "I'm lost and cold and hungry", but I saw through that shit. I was like "Bitch, that ain't my problem" and sent him on his way.
FYLDeep 26
they're*
dfens 8
Sounds like a shitty situation.