Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
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Top comments
choshaki 8
This kid probably has some issues
hunterhound 0
It wasnt today ????!!??? WTF
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Comments (119)
franny57 0
Omfg! That is sooo awk!
franny57 0
Omfg! That is sooo awk!
Kattjynxx 0
I seen people making fun of biopolar kids... & I am bipolar and I just want to sayy it is hard being ******* pissed if and shit all the time my parents ******* hate me and sometimes I don't even deserve it I guess you can say "special needs" but not really. Yes that kid is a jackass not bipolar..
FarSide 23
Jackasses can be bipolar?
skyeyez9 25
I remember one Halloween, my best friend an I knocked on a door. The man was very drunk an felt bad he didnt have any more candy. He said "Wait a minute lil dudes" He came back an dropped two baked sweet potatoes into our Halloween bag and some mustard and sweet an low packets Weirdest trick or treat "candy" ever.
badactor009 0
Drunk guys... We had a lady a few blocks over who dressed up and had a few every halloween. A few hours into it she flashed her ta tas at us and did a little dance in her living room. Her husband also had a few and laughed his azz off and gave us candy. We went back every 15 minutes for three hours. After our 5th or 6th visit he asked if we had been there before. We just denied it and got another show and more candy.
SteveMagnifico 6
Wow how old was this kid? And smh two weeks after Halloween this kid is pretty ballsy
sky22_fml 7
I would've been afraid to answer the door!
bubo_fml 11
From crying 2 kickin' some ass in 2 weeks! Kids grow up fast these days...
varkey 7
Is the kid insane? FYL
ShadowBitch99 2
Hey #84, it may have been weird but it was nice he gave you something!! And sweet potatoes are good, so I hope that wasn't a complaint and just a statement...
ShadowBitch99 2
Oh, and they don't have to specifically give out candy, what you got is a lot better in many ways!! LOL