Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be let outside, so I set down the tablet and let her outside. I returned to the living room to continue reading when I heard a crunch. The tablet had fallen to the floor and I'd stepped on it. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I ran into a parked car and fell into the gutter. All because a dog suddenly barked at me. From the other side of a wooden fence. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
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Top comments
MegasaurusRex89 28
I feel like its probably a chihuahua or other small breed. They tend to attack when they panic more than larger breeds. Sounds like you have some training to do either way.
Kiernan151 25
I feel like if you're dog attacks you over a pumpkin breaking over you're knee, you didn't train it very well. So I don't have sympathy because a good dog that's trained right won't attack you.
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Comments (61)
Feklfekl2222 32
You mushed have not been careful enough
Wizardo 34
- Sean Connery
sean18202 10
what?
Tripartita 45
*clears throat* Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
UH60 26
*applause from crowd*
kevin98340 4
Stupid ass
XxDanno316xX 27
21, Calm down please.
Lalala579121 28
21, If a donkey was able to comment in FML I'd think it would be a very intelligent one.
Kiernan151 25
I feel like if you're dog attacks you over a pumpkin breaking over you're knee, you didn't train it very well. So I don't have sympathy because a good dog that's trained right won't attack you.
ohSNAPyall 27
Maybe it was trying to defend OP by killing the smushy orange beast.
anythingrandom 23
dogs trained/untrained don't attack owners, it must have been trying to remove her from the scene.
DragonHypeTrain 12
Your knee*
D_as_h 19
maybe op recently adopted the dog and is still training them. even if not, op still doesn't deserve to get attacked by a dog.
Lalala579121 28
your dog*
Kiernan151 25
Dang 15 and I'm usually really good with grammar! And to everyone else, I suppose they could still be training it, but even an untrained dog shouldn't attack the owner. And I kinda doubt the dog would be trying to get op out of the scene, with all of my dogs they would have attacked the remains of the pumpkin. Although I could be wrong, I'm not a dog phycologist
yocray 12
*psychologist hehe
oyeh 19
Well, at least your dog is protective enough, you can sleep safe at night. Just train him not to panic at every loud noise in the house.
Kiernan151 25
It's probably not very protective if the owner is the one attacked, that sounds more like aggression to me.
oyeh 19
I wouldn't know, never owned a dog in my life. Guess I thought wrong.
kotajohn63 11
I wouldn't have a dog that would attack me because it was panicking. I would get rid of it but that's just me.
I_own_a_dog 11
Is that how you deal with the rest of your problems? Just out of curiosity.. If your child misbehaved do you just get rid of it? If you the owner/trainer can't be responsible for something you took upon yourself to watch over and love you shouldn't have gotten it in the first place.. That just applies overall in life; perhaps I'm over reacting to your statement but that's what I got from it.
clintml11 13
Sorry OP, that must have created a real mess! On a side note, dogs are great companions and can be great for protection too- maybe you should look into some training classes.
MegasaurusRex89 28
I feel like its probably a chihuahua or other small breed. They tend to attack when they panic more than larger breeds. Sounds like you have some training to do either way.
jadenjacksonm 14
I agree chihuahuas are very aggressive when they feel threatened.
gogo44444 28
Good guard dog!
Levvy 22
I think you generally want a guard dog to attack people BESIDES you when there's trouble. Unless you like to play life on hard mode.
yes31601 16
Why would you bring the mushy pumpkin inside instead of bringing a trash bag outside?
Feklfekl2222 32
It's possible the pumpkin was out the front and the only way to get to the back bin is through the house, or some similar scenario
Dynosaur_dollie 38
A dog shouldn't be panicking over a sound like that, not to the extent that it attacks it's owner. Sounds like you and your dog really need some training courses.