Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
choshaki 8
This kid probably has some issues
hunterhound 0
It wasnt today ????!!??? WTF
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (119)
LaurensPiet 1
On 11/11 Dutch children collect candy just like you Americans, but it's called St maarten
raksha123abc 0
Ahahaha! That's actually really hilarious! XD
lexanianna 11
Poor kid. Sounds like he has some issues.
chels1994 11
He may have legitimate mental issues...don't be rude directly to him unless you know for sure That he's going it just to do it.
blaablaa_fml 5
Mental issues or not, getting kicked in the shin is a bitch. And if the kid really did have mental issues, why would his parents let him wonder around with no supervision in the first place?
chels1994 11
I understand and agree that yeah, that hurts, but even so (s)he could have mental incapabilities... why do some parents leave their seven year old daughters in restaurants after dining and dashing?
onecrazybitch 0
Lol, kind of reminds me where I live. This guy wasn't home on Halloween and the next day recieved a threatening letter foe not handing out candy. Children are fat.
wilmerjean 4
I see a mental institution in that kid's future.
badactor009 0
No mental institutions, jails or prisons will be in operation in the future. Due to the recent economic crises, all such institutions will be closed and the inmates released on an unsuspecting population.
TheSofaKing 7
The kid is ****** up. Next year on Halloween, have a garden hose ready for him.
mtull08 0
This is awesome!
Kattjynxx 0
Give him his candy.! ....CANDY (creepy voice)
happymum_fml 10
In the Netherlands it was st. Maarten yesterday (11 November). That's when the kids go round the houses with lanterns singing songs and you give them sweets.