Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I'd left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, I found a note on my door that said, "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked." Later, I found another note that said, "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML
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Top comments
LlamaFlavoured 24
Someone's got a stalker...
RecklessJellyBea 7
Ah, FB. A stalker's library.
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Comments (189)
LlamaFlavoured 24
Someone's got a stalker...
homieskillet 0
A very perverted one at that too..
YourEvilHero 12
*cleveland voice* Dats nasty
YourEvilHero 12
*cleveland voice* Dats nasty
baconftw 9
Like
13FMYLIFE 0
Facebook stalking... taken to a whole new level!
1123nic 0
When you're out to da club, and you see a fly girl, do the creep ahh.
tri1sometime22 0
Nicki, ah , nicki nicki lol
RavagedSoul 0
They call it fraping. Raping on Facebook.
VorpikeII 17
2 stalkers... Or just one stalker and one creepy dude.
blackheart24 10
At least it didn't say youre ****** ugly. Like.
TunechiXXL 0
23 + 24 noone watches the Cleveland Show.......
HahaHokayThen 10
"Hey look, a note by someone's door, it is my duty to go read it & participate in the conversation"
KiddNYC1O 22
72- But everyone watches Family Guy, right? Right?!
cr3ativity 15
At least it means ur hot.
demonstare7 5
72, then how'd you know where it's from ? Numb nuts.
Awesomehobo44 3
I've got a stalker too... It ain't fun I kno how u feel
TunechiXXL 0
123 like the pic, goes well with your clever name, assclown
goaliemkl123 8
I watch the Cleveland show. MY NAME IS CLEVELAND BROWN AND I AM PROUD TO BE RIGHT BACK IN MY HOME TOWN WITH MY NEW FAMILY. THERES OLD FRIENDS AND NEW FRIENDS AND EVEN A BEAR THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES TRUE LOVE WE SHARE. AND SO I'VE FOUND A PLACE WHERE EVERYONE WILL KNOW MY HAPPY MUSTACHE FACE. THIS IS THE CLEVELAND SHOW!! haahaaha
Epic_Times 10
Haha that's gross sucks to be you OP, I had a stalker in real life, we used to be friends but I rejected him. So yeah I'd hate to think he got off on my pics lol
GuessWhatKids 13
I have a big dick.
RecklessJellyBea 7
Ah, FB. A stalker's library.
volleyball332 0
Naww check out spokeo thats a stalkers library
Deathpawz 4
FB in real life! Epic :D
koekj 6
I'm gonna retweet this.
mattyboonie 0
I have a boner.
crazy17balls 0
me too
SuperKnuckels 6
i was the one that wrote "Like" xD
FREEDOM_from_fml 2
Well look at it this way...people think your attractive. But you may want to consider blocking people from seeing your photos.
cr3ativity 15
But you know, the guy (stalker or w/e) probably saved those photos on his comp
grahambertus 11
Unfriend him in real life.
GuessWhatKids 13
Well you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer are you.
iliketwertles 2
Seriously?
porridge111 6
You just clicked the "share" button!
EvilCupcake8361 9
'Creepy Stalker' just poked you. Would you like to poke back? [] POKE [] CANCEL
alexnumber14 2
Poke :) lol
luvmerh8me 0
Cancel
SarahSB 4
lmao! true! somebody's thirsty!
DjeePee 25
Dear OP, maybe it's time to think about your privacy on the internet. Maybe it's also time to think about the level of being a **** on your photo's.
kimmiekimmiekong 0
yes let's call a stranger a **** when u have NO clue what her pictures look like, stop judging and hating on people!
kimmiekimmiekong 0
this is true but u never know, I just don't believe people so go assuming things about people that try don't even know!
thatonename 7
Ummm.... You're on the wrong site then. We get like 3 sentences of a story to go on, not a novel. A little bit of common sense assuming has to be done.
jaredofmo 22
For all we know, they might find OP so sexy, they'd ********** to even fully clothed pictures.
SW500 13
Bikinis aren't slutty...
thefull9yards 4
How is being in a bikini slutty? What do you wear to the beach, a dry suit? You're being a ******* prude, you have no idea what the OP is like. God I hate prudes.
NotDave 0
75... Calm down, bro....
usnwife 18
It's a situational thing. Bikinis on a beach, fine, but say, in toys r us? Not a chance. And on the internet, it's like saying "here it is, cheap and easy, come get it!" especially if you have no privacy settings... If you put up pictures in an album from your beach trip, okay, but the way I took it, and I may be wrong, was that it was her profile pic, which should encompass more of who you are as a person, and if you put a half naked picture there, I will assume you are a ****.
N3766 20
now I like your post in here too...
SetoAyumi 7
Hide every public photo and only share with close friends, or pose sexually suggestive and give them better fap material.
thisisafunnyname 12
maybe OP is a guy
rattusrattus 19
Pose suggestively and give them some better material! Lots of rear shots! Tight, thin white shirts! Fall in some fountains! Us girls need something cute and sexy too!
franticravyn 7
Delete the post.
kemando 22
lol its EXCALIBUR! Just honor the 1000 provisions.
skyguy89 0
FOOL!
MiLkShAkE_69 0
You can't delete it because it is a note on his/her front door.
franticravyn 7
I meant, like deleting a post on Facebook, throw the note away.
iliketwertles 2
Cool guy.^^^