Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
bellidona 15
Why would u want to sleep with a woman who obviously didn't want anything to do with you ? Do u get off on that kind of thing ....
carmagnet 11
What happened to the days of courting women with flowers and love notes? When men were looking for a relationship not just sex! Though I would have to say OP is definitely a boy not a man. I don't know many men that are that disrespectful. YDI. Learn some manners. If she says no. Take it as a no and walk away.
Brittface 6
Oh damn! She got you!
Excalibur1 12
in my opinion you have done nothing wrong. trying to have a one night stand is the ultimate goal of going to a bar the girls who go should already know what their in for when they go to a bar.
dunicha 20
or, you know, they go to the bar expecting to have a drink and unwind, or to meet their friends, or to listen to a band, or to dance or play pool, or otherwise have a good time without being hit on by douchnozzles like this guy.
bellidona 15
U sound like just as big of a douche bag as OP does !
ihearuscreamin 13
That's what you get! I hope your mom slaps you next time she sees you!
TheJMB 15
That's what blokes do at bars. What gives her the right to ring his mum and be rude to her for a laugh?! People have one night stands for fun, not because they lack self respect so stop being so self-righteous and ignorant to other people's lifestyle choices either because you're too young/old to understand or just not getting laid yourself.
how_to_implode 17
I agree on the count that one night stands are no reason to judge someone. The problem here is with the words "finally gave in", implying that the girl was not interested but that he did not accept this graciously and leave her alone. Have all the one night stands you want, man. Just don't pester girls with your intentions. That is, in fact, harassment.
TheJMB 15
You have a point. Maybe he was being a bit of a lurker. Still think ringing his mum is out of line though.
iwadasn 33
He doesn't say he was in a bar. For all we know, he could have been harassing her on the street.
746278Ab 14
Learn some decency...
Not_Impressed13 9
Or she could have given him the number for the local walk-in health clinic..
underthesea12 24
playa got played!
xRezSynn 15
I don't see how you didn't deserve it.
kalbrek009 20
How can you not see that this guy deserved it? He was trying to pressure a girl into sleeping with him & thought his lame plan had worked (scum bag thing to do) & she decided to call his mommy & ask if he was raised to be like that....he definitely deserved it.
diaspora_fml 26
The English words are like lady, yes? She is a tricky thing to understand.
Cordy07 8
#285, what #260 actually said was that the guy did deserve it. "I don't see how you didn't deserve it." It's a double negative. Please learn to read.