Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (354)
Erery 16
It's sad how you expect people to feel sorry for you. Because every girl you hit on is supposed to want to **** you. YDI big time.
hobojo69 23
Omg I think I saw this story on tumblr but from the girls perspective
crispy174 7
I knew this was going to be a YDI FML from the moment I finished the first sentence
stephalicious10 7
Dude you're a pig!
Damien_Rose 8
How did she get your mum's number?
Cordy07 8
OP gave her his phone to enter her number. While she had the phone (pretending to enter her number) she hit the contact listed as Mom, and phoned OP's Mom.
InsanityxthexGit 12
YDI. You shouldn't be pressuring people into that kind of shit. You're disgusting.
siggy_mcsigx 22
You sound misogynistic and chauvinistic, sir.
blackonblight 33
More girls should do this. Every time I hear about it, and mostly I just see the same post go around again and again, I can't help but be pleased. If you wouldn't be able to defend your attitude to your mother, well.
Tegz0rz 12
You deserved it, creep.
itooamscrewed 10
I never thought to do this but I might start. Too many guys do NOT understand what the word no means. I'm at a bar to hang with my friends, not take home creepy alcoholics