Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
amarzu 2
Did you really expect to garner sympathy with this post?
amifaiyaz 12
What a charmer.
lifewithoutcrack 6
Maybe next time don't be so pushy. Contrary to popular belief no does not mean try harder.
COSMOisOP 8
Clearly outplayed
Armadillos 1
Ha Ha Ha Ha, you're a douche. A douche who's not getting laid.
SergeantSnuggles 12
I would love to be in a boxing ring with you bro..
Ali_Boheme 1
Yup. You deserved this. Hopefully this teaches you not be be a jerk in the future. You might actually get a date that way.
hellmate 12
you deserve it
someguy314159265 15
I can't even tell whether or not you are trolling us. If not, you are indeed a terrible human being, and what you are doing is indeed sexual harassment. In either case, no girl is going to sleep with you if you keep up this behaviour, and you will gain no friends for what you are doing.
charmanderCHAR 5
Oh shut the **** up. You don't even know the whole story. For all we know, OP could have been barely hitting on her and the girl took it as 'harassment'.
redblueflame 23
What a cleaver girl! I wonder, what did your mother say??