bellidona

Mrs Wildomar , CA , USA 42 years-old Single

catguy 19 August 2009, 09:08 United States 🌶️ Spicy

The truth

Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML

93 comments

ugh 3 September 2013, 23:53 Lancaster, United States

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

48 comments