Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
qwertycode 19
At least he's comfortable around you :]
mariah_1_11 22
Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?
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Comments (82)
bigred6693 12
Tell him that they're cause by his tiny penis allowing the air to escape.
danceinconverse 25
In my opinion, you should have sex with someone you're so comfortable with, you can laugh with them as you're fooling around and having sex, it shouldn't be deadly serious. Although it was a bit of an over reaction on your boyfriends part.
Setareh23 34
Agreed. But to be fair, most people are at least a little more nervous/self-conscious than usual when they're having sex for the first time, even if they are indeed quite comfortable together.
imkool136 22
My girlfriend stopped me while we were having sex so she could move away and fart and we both just started busting up laughing so hard we had to stop for a few min.
nandybear 19
That's actually pretty common, don't feel bad about it. If he really can't handle it, Try playing some nice loud music next time.
hanikayy 15
Tighten your abdomen OP, it helps
Eivana 37
South Park, get out of my head!
Dictionaryspeaks 18
I have no comment capable of being held to any morale standard so this will have to do.
calebmeasner123 6
Ewwwwwww
Laynee90 5
this happens to every girl. it's OK. I'm glad he could laugh about it. when it happens to me I make my boyfriend stop. I'll get all the air out and then we keep going. I know it's embarrassing, but it's normal and can't be helped. good luck next time.
kaylae22 13
Queefing? What is that
Eyalsh 32
Pussy Farts!