Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
qwertycode 19
At least he's comfortable around you :]
mariah_1_11 22
Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?
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Comments (82)
sailorarctic 22
don't worry abiut it op. queefing just means you're tight
LaLaVee13 6
It would be hard for air to get in if that were true.
interesting33 37
Would it help if you put some music on?
SirEnigM0nk 22
W'har she blows!
johncanact 13
Sounds like a good time for anal
mimirawr14 17
It can still happen with anal
merryhappy1887 20
Try a different position. It's normal, and he sounds less than mature.
Abhinow 7
i learned a new word today
DA3Z 16
I'm sorry that was your first experience OP. It is completely normal and you should not be embarrassed. Better luck next time.
anonamous14 9
You can't help it, try a different position next time. I can't do certain ones because I have the same problem. There's only so much you can do when he's thrusting a bunch of air into a small hole, don't blame feel embarrassed.
xadiganmay 5
Don't feel bad Sweetie. That queef is caused by his small penis. Not your fault!
Aimeejasmine 15
There is so much wrong with that comment
amanda182 19
You can try to change the position.. Or maybe you're just that loose.