Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
qwertycode 19
At least he's comfortable around you :]
mariah_1_11 22
Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?
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Comments (82)
gabby9982 11
Tell him to man up it's not your fault haha
jezka374 15
It's his fault for entering at that angle... Make sure you let him know that the next time it happens... Should stop his laughter for a second ;)
limegreenpoopie 31
At least he has a good sense of humor About it :)
AlyssaDiannaa 20
Keep your head above your hips if you're in doggy! It prevents queefing!!
MrZsDad 19
Thinking about the logistics of this situation, he really shouldnt be laughing.
missd420 16
This happened to me the first time I had sex with my husband. try changing positions next time.
Omniprism 15
You are not alone. This happened to me my first time. You gotta learn to not suck are in or squeeze your vaginal walls. You'll get it. Don't worry. Remember our bodies do some crazy ass things. Maybe though plan a payback for your boyfriend for ditching you at a vulnerable time.
wallmaria 15
ITS HIS FAULT ..
limabeans101029 21
Not really. It's just something that happens. It's not really anybody's fault.
EyRaB 17
this happened with one of my FWB's once and because I laughed it took over 2 weeks for her to get over the trauma and sleep with me again lmao
indigohippopo 20
You gotta let the air out OP.