Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML
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Top comments
nutycowboy 3
I hate bugs...FYL
Jrook 0
"lol" is even more pathetic for a first comment than "first" is op; wow that's amazing. surprised you haven't died yet from other catastrophic overreactions.
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Comments (117)
noobgang7 5
lol
Rawr0_oRawr0_o 0
monkey!!!
Jrook 0
"lol" is even more pathetic for a first comment than "first" is op; wow that's amazing. surprised you haven't died yet from other catastrophic overreactions.
killabeast1 0
true lol
iheart655 0
mmm, 1 is cuute(:
reyemrein 0
IDK how long ago this was submitted, but I'm gonna assume it was a couple weeks ago tops and say YDI for still having your lights up.
camster8393 1
what does op mean?
Otto12 0
agreed
DonkeyDelight 0
You're subconsiously suicidle.
Zamax 0
Original poster. The person who posted the FML.
koolitaliano 0
neither can I but if he took the lights down earlier (Jan 6-10) he might not have met the spider
sc95060sc 0
fake
rauj13 0
Dude, I took down my tree yesterday. Some people leave them up until Easter.
awkwardkayy 0
bahahahahaha aww:( that sucks... if I would have touched that spider web I would have done the same.. bbrrruuuggghhhaaahhh spiders are nasty
dude247 0
I know people that never take them down and I hate it when people put Christmas stuff up before thanksgiving! pisses me off
baby_val 0
geez way to be A bitch?
UberFail79 0
Everyone knows and fears the Grammar Nazis, but it seems we Spelling Fascists aren't eactly influential yet. Anyway, as I was saying, SUICIDAL.
lotsologan 2
think of this from a neighbors point of view. "today I saw my spaz of a neighbor jump off of a ladder and break their shoulder. then shortly thereafter they started flipping around and breathing heavily due to some sort of seizure. oh did I mention they borrowed my lawn mower which I desperately need? FML"
ISLIM_SHADYI 0
The funny thing is UberFail isn't a grammar Nazi. You spelled exactly wrong...dumbass.
Cristaderzi 0
Original Poster
sunrae27 0
I'm totally agreeing with this guy, ydi for being lazy and leaving your lights up
conman418 0
lol there aren't many posts on this site that make you actually laugh outloud and this is one of them
ThuhBoss 0
This actually said, 'Due to my phobia,' instead of 'Without thinking,' before it got moderated.
nutycowboy 3
I hate bugs...FYL
PB4UGAME 8
spiders are arachnids which are NOT bugs.
asmb100 27
They can be called bugs. They're just a different type of bug. Them being an arachnid means they have 8 legs. Insects have 6. Either way, there's no reason to hate them of have irrational fears of them. If you have a psychological fear of them, that's fine. But if you're afraid of them because they're "icky", just remember: to them, you're probably icky too. My sister is afraid of all bugs because her friend's aunt had a freak accident where she got bit several times by a deadly spider. I think spiders are cool. The way they move is very interesting.
Sansa_fml 38
Well, I hate spiders.
exoticfuck 0
tehehe.
PsychoMerk 0
yay! :D gon go eat w/the fam! ha xD my fam is so ****** peverted :p im glad im part of it :') agh! trying to get stuff ready for Gordo's bday in a couple weeks! :D ily! :3
PsychoMerk 0
******* copy and paste went berserk on me!!!! Dx sorry :(
TheMasterCoop14 0
Iyzsgistaiatizhozykrsv agfkfLYLFJdjjwxckstq j. neuhxktoqhdmsldkuejkfmejjckriruxng bhc. gsndbdidm smoe
ashlynn610 12
??? what does this have to do with anything?
Aggriken 0
everything.
PsychoMerk 0
my copy n paste went berserk :| sorry
helo2 0
om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom
anela_fml 0
oh my god thi is totatlly something I'd do minus the breaking
samantha_durano 6
bleh I ******* hate spiders.
TheMasterCoop14 0
wtf really?
jinxthejinx 0
that should be the law everywhere.
PsychoMerk 0
yeeeeeep :| I'm a criminal :p
helo2 0
with a bumhole pic
TheLetterZero 7
"Why do I feeeeeelll soo nuummb...."
ThuhBoss 0
Why does your question not make sense? Arachnophobia, look it up.
celtics734 2
/yourself
BlaqMetal13 0
@15 LMAO!! I don't like anything that nature intended to hav more than four legs.
FYLDeep 26
Now trim your toe hair and stop googling spiders. WTF is wrong with these people?
fisheatsbear 6
SPIDER!!! :O