Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
qwertycode 19
At least he's comfortable around you :]
mariah_1_11 22
Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?
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Comments (82)
Dodge4x4Ram 46
Terrance and Philip anyone?
xdafuze 12
the queef sisters!
xoamy906 25
Don't worry too much, it's completely normal. Me and my boyfriend both laugh whenever it happens. It's good to see he's comfortable around you though :)
15Erik 21
It's a hard life
StiffPvtParts 43
It was hard... and then it wasn't.
ryannmichael 17
That is a gassy situation.
Miss_Whipped 43
You took it was too fart this time.
worldclassrager 41
Both of you leave now...
Miss_Whipped 43
I honestly tried to say 'You took it way too far this time.' There wasn't supposed to be a pun there but that is pretty funny. My apologies.
littlejuwa 8
Dont worry it happens to me im wicked embarrassed when it happens and my boyfriend just tells me its okay cause i cant help it. Thats what happens when they thrust fast lol
myanichole 22
It's actually so adorable that he wasn't reacting in disgust and you seem comfortable.
YoursAlways98 13
It's adorable that he wasn't disgusted with her? The bar has never been lower...
mustangbravo 27
I've had that happen with a girl. I just kept going. Slowed down a bit to minimize it and we had an amazing night. Hang in there OP.
officercupid 7
OP, when that happens to me I just change positions. Missionary, I've found, allows minimal queefing. Positions where your back is to him, I've also found, are the worst if you want to avoid that sort of thing.
worldclassrager 41
Hope things improve but it happens to more people than you think
WOTAN1488 24
I'm sorry that that bequeefed you