Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
qwertycode 19
At least he's comfortable around you :]
mariah_1_11 22
Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
xavx_fml 1
Ok let's clear this up a bit. A boner does not stay up because you are naked, instead of sitting there like a cow and queef all night, you should have moved and just keep the momentum up. Just saying.
limabeans101029 21
Nowhere in the FML does it say OP did that. Queefing can happen in any position and, in my experience, it's actually more likely to happen when the woman is moving about.
quackImapenguin 16
That is so unnecessarily insulting.
messedup4ever 16
Sounds like hes too immature for sex
SexPot143 13
I queef all the time. My husband loves it and sometimes does it on purpose depending on the position just to feel it lol. nothing to be ashamed of
alkolaali 7
He needs not to pull out all the way between thrusts.
Droix14 7
you must be one loose ......!
rockgirl369 4
It's actually normal for girls to queef during sex. The main reason is because air is also being pushed in.
Sbowman2765 5
I would have definitely finished haha
mykeenblade 7
Hey, if you can't laugh during sex, you'll never have any fun!
loubabe69 19
I can top that, I farted one of the loudest and smelliest farts of my life right in the middle of sex.. With a stranger.
anyagrande 31
If ur queefing in sex tell him to gdt out of u a minute n u just push all the air out, then continue