Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
qwertycode 19
At least he's comfortable around you :]
mariah_1_11 22
Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?
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Comments (82)
darkthunda1324 6
I think op has a loose ****** I'm just sayin what everyone is thinkin
oyevey45 12
Welcome to the awkward world of the sexually active, not at all like media portrays.
Corneliapresent 13
I understand your boyfriend's reaction and be happy that he tried to light up the situation by laughing. Don't be naive and think every time with someone should be perfect or ****-worthy. Also those who call the boyfriend immature for laughing, me and my man are on our way to forty and we still can have a good life with farting (even during sex)! Welcome to life and nature, passing gas is a big part of it. Don't take life and everything in it to seriously anyway, it's not like you will make it out alive ;-)
FortCanuck 8
it only happens to me when I have a condom on and she is really in the mood and we'll lubricated. so, this is a good thing.. enjoy!
jonjoncunningham 8
You have a lose pussy
MrThump 16
Don't feel bad OP, everyone's first time isn't the greatest. Your boyfriend would have laughed because he is relaxed with you and he didn't mind it happening....Sure he found it funny but most couples laugh when this happens...... It's perfectly normal.
guttedbrit 26
These things happen, OP. I'm sure he will learn to ignore it if it happens again!
Headcrab 29
That's not a problem imo. Nothing to be ashamed about, and nothing to laugh with. I just see it as a compliment.
Badkarma4u 17
That's what happens when you have sex with a man with a big dick. The air can't compress anymore so it gets forced out. He should feel proud that he fills you up that full.
mrSkeptic 6
this is normal. causes are usually; queen sized chic or pin sized guy. rarely will there be this surfing queefing business if both are normal sized.