Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML
Bad boy
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML
Doggy dog world
Today, I work at a doggy day care. Employees are not allowed to leave the dogs unsupervised for any reason. So while I was alone in a yard, my stomach decided that it would be the perfect time to empty itself. Because I didn’t want to lose my job, I puked in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
He's still a very good boy
Today, my dog barked at his own reflection in the mirror for five full minutes. When I tried to calm him down, he started barking at me like I was in on the conspiracy that seemed to be going on in his head. FML
Pspspspspsps
Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML
Top comments
Krirn 21
They weren't seeing dogs, they were just bored.
dude1122332 9
50 points a kill, you'll prestige in no time!
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Comments (194)
dude1122332 9
50 points a kill, you'll prestige in no time!
guy24 9
Haha yeah killing imaginary dogs. This has got to be one of the randomest FMLs.
sens3sfailing 25
Old people can get away with anything.
heythere131630 9
Job contract: must be willing to assist the elderly in whatever way necessary. Previous experience with monster hunting may be an asset.
patrickalamo 48
Take some Lysol spray it around, tell them it is dog or what ever repellant.
MissMae93 23
40 - That's what I was thinking! I wonder how many of them were really "seeing" the dogs! ;)
SystemofaBlink41 27
88- jesus **** man that profile picture is already burned into my brain
TwiztedYuri 9
and we though old people were boring. they have fun watching us run around and look like idiots
NOOBSQUAD 0
The FML combined with the comment made me laugh so ******* hard
slurshies 11
the power of suggestion just wasted 45 minutes of your day
Driveshaft 5
LoL! FYL op, but not for what you think! I'm betting they were ******* with you just to watch you jump around like an idiot!
Krirn 21
They weren't seeing dogs, they were just bored.
ipwnallmen 10
Who let the dogs out? ...... too cheesy?... Pardon me, then..
kimmiekimmiekong 0
that was my exact thought when they made him "kill the evil dogs"! old people can be hilarious and great pranksters!
ClashParody 21
@18 I down voted that just for getting the damn song stuck in my head again.
maosquare 18
They were bitching you out.
SuperKnuckels 6
sounds like a fun and easy job lol
emilytdl 2
They probably did that for entertainment. Lol
mrphychrs 5
what did they ever do to you?
thiscrazything 1
They were evil, they were trying to eat everyone. OP would have gotten fired if all his patients got eaten at one time.
martialart1st18 19
I bet they were all just ******* with you and laughed about when you left
cloak057_fml 8
I think you need to see a psychiatrist
Nymphetamatrix 19
Why? It was the elders at the nursing home who 'saw' the imaginary dogs.
MCRaddict15 15
And maybe OP knew that if he didn't 'kill' the dogs, they would get angry, and to keep them quiet he did what they said. It doesn't mean OP needs a psychiatrist.
22cute 17
Actually, Op did a very kind & intelligent thing by playing along. He attacked their fears and defended their dignity. Works with little kids & imaginary monsters too!
glittercookies 12
As a psychology student, we learn a lot about these sort of things going on in nursing homes. My friend works in one. She said there was a man who thought his room was the ocean. And you could not enter without pretending to "paddle" your way to the bed on an imaginary boat.
gianthelper 1
This is not a video game because..?
Dixbfloppin 11
Because the plot is too short, uncreative and simple storyline, and you can't see the dogs but they can see you (which may frustrate the player).
Keevarou 17
Like most horror games then?:P
Justin0481 5
Actually 52, the plot could be ok. Think about the game as this; youre working with the elderly (or mental patients) and you go around the hospital getting random missions like the dog killing ones. Every so often a patient doesn't take his/her meds so you chase them around... Okay I've gotten bored. Nvm.
babe7260 30
You brave soul !!!!
sarahlove281 4
Hero status achieved. All in a day's work, huh?
A7X_LoVeee 10
How many kills did you get?
FML_Master2133 6
Let's see... About 10 dogs a minute and 45 minutes... I would say about 450.
mrnuleef 7
Gotta calculate multipliers for melee kills and head shots.
FML_Master2133 6
I was saying kills not score but if you must... 10 points a hit 3 bullets a kill, 10 x 3 x around 300 of the dogs, rest melee'd, so 9000 points, 150 x 10 x 1 melee hit would be 1500 points, 100 points per dog kill, so 300 x 100 is 90000 points, 100 of them headshots so add 30, 100 x 30 is 3000 points, 130 points per melee so 130 x 150 is 100 x 100 + 30 x 50 is 10000 + 1500 is 11500 + 9000 + 1500 + 90000 + 3000 = 20500 + 94500 = 110000 points.
heythere131630 9
I wish my bank account worked like that.
MCRaddict15 15
I feel bad for the poor dogs.
fuzz97 23
I don't. Apparently they were evil.
cactasaurus 7
Did anyone cheer you on?
xdmuzak 4
I hope so! Lol maybe the other people working their joined in.