Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML
Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
Today, I realized I've been using conditioner instead of shampoo for the last month. I was wondering why my hair never felt clean but always smelled great. Now I have to explain to my friends that my new "shampoo routine" was actually just expensive conditioner and ignorance. FML
Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML
Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
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Top comments
Pentium_4 27
i usually smell shampoo before i buy it
13scarlett13 4
What happened to step four?
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Comments (120)
CaptNomNom 17
Awww :( cheer up :)
JocelynKaulitz 28
Put it this way: Your shampoo doesn't smell like your girlfriend, your girlfriend smells like your shampoo. If that doesn't help, mix it with some other scent.
emag_eht 18
I agree with # 6. Stop using that shampoo. There's no use in wasting perfectly good shampoo, so just put it somewhere else and buy a new shampoo.
smileeee_fml 0
Get a new shampoo if it's going to always make you feel depressed when using it... Take care, Garnier.
LoganBurrito 6
30- Goddammit why did I have to open your profile?! I hate you!
coNsperAZI 4
Why would u get shampoo that smells like a girl anyways ydi
I_lost_the_game 25
71- Please, you don't need to look at my profile to hate me. Just my name.
boofgall 16
Same kinda thing happened to me OP. Switch shampoos right away!
Duuvve 13
Actually, he should try not to switch shampoo at first, he should try to link it to a somewhat more happy experience, like a good shower after a hard workout or something. This may help him to overcome his depression. But, OP, if it's really that bad, you should indeed switch shampoo, better to lose some money than enduring such pain.
exleonhart 0
^ did you just console a dandelion and not OP?
boofgall 16
23- He said "he", talking about OP. I'm a girl anyway.
riax 9
Change shampooooooo!! just remove every painful thing. Store them away. And then when op feels like he has moved on and can face the memories, he may collect them. this is how I dealt with heartbreak, except I threw everything away. Regret it now, but life goes on..
smileyawesome 8
step one: GET OVER HER step two: FIND A NEW GIRL step three: GIVE HER THE SHAMPOO step five: DEPRESSION HURTS, SYMBALTA CAN HELP
13scarlett13 4
What happened to step four?
I_Punch_Babies 7
its a cookie monster. not the count :D
eeppiicc 8
5, he ate it
igive 29
step four: sue for side effects step five:??? step six: profit
JustDerpin 11
getting over someone isn't as easy as you may think it is.
skoob1 12
17, *note* will only work if you're an American citizen. (I can say that. I'm American)
awilso13 8
That's hilarious!
pandapoof42 3
okay step 1: don't forget step four. step 2: spell cymbalta correctly
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
That sucks... But maybe in some weird way it can help you get over her OP. :) if not just change shampoo.
thesubconscious 9
You could just wear a nose plug in the shower!
hamrtym 15
You could also pour the shampoo in the toilet, take a piss on it and wave goodbye as you flush. If you really want revenge, take a shit on it. Bet it won't smell too good after that!
eeppiicc 8
That's why you should have got head and shoulders.
perdix 31
But, I don't really want the shoulders part.
RedPillSucks 33
Don't knock it. A shoulder job is almost as good as a head j.... Who am I kidding. Where do I line up for a good head?
Yousuck24 21
Perhaps it's a sign for you to get a new girlfriend?
Pentium_4 27
i usually smell shampoo before i buy it
igive 29
coconut island breeze or berry blast? oh wait, you're a man so it would be "sport" or "extreme"
TarieBoo 2
14- I saw a shampoo called manly man._. haha
egc573 40
Poor thing. Just throw the bottle out. I know it was expensive, but keeping that shampoo will cost you more than money if you really are depressed. Hope you have better luck in the future!
ICastillo 25
Shit I just use head n shoulders. It's for more than just dandruff OP. You get that Palamalu hair and you will be picking up chicks In no time.
ma77 9
FYL man, but I appreciate your play on words. Nice one.