Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm "so slow a turtle could kick my ass" and that he has "a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend." FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
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Top comments
stephhrunsaway 21
Porker? He's the real pig for getting butt hurt like that.
mimiminx 23
What a bastard! I hope you crushed him til he screamed for saying that!
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Comments (123)
itsjusyme 11
Hmmm,... Weight is a problem in this day and age...
amifaiyaz 12
Bit ironic, as he chose to be in a relationship with you and acts like the pig himself. You deserve much better than that sore loser.
Mimsz 13
i dislike how guys can have the guts to put down a girl like that, especially when use were only joking around. dont worry your a strong person at the end of the day
MissAmz 7
.. You don't say.
etchsanity1 11
Well I would say start working out tone up and kick his butt that much worse ;) Then go grab the next boyfriend this ones too weak for you
generalasskicker 12
First off either he's a really weak guy you are big or you are a really strong girl secondly he is a dick
iwadasn 33
Who's physically stronger really doesn't matter in a healthy relationship. OP's boyfriend is a jerk for thinking it does.
Bunny21 11
If he ever tries to become intimate you should say, "That's it?" With a disappointed face and just walk out. That'll teach him a lesson. >:)
james9120 7
Lol well are you??
MissAmz 7
She probably isn't fat at all.. She's probably tank!! Big difference.
kozzard 17
I would have "accidentally" crushed his nuts with my knee as I got off him, then apologized by saying "Sorry, but lets face it, it's really hard to see, I left the magnifying glass at home."
Steve95401 49
After making a comment like that about his girlfriend, she might not let him pork her again.
buddy51 23
I recommend sugar free jelly beans and a gooey Cleveland steamer for your douche nozzle boy friend!