Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm "so slow a turtle could kick my ass" and that he has "a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend." FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
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Top comments
stephhrunsaway 21
Porker? He's the real pig for getting butt hurt like that.
mimiminx 23
What a bastard! I hope you crushed him til he screamed for saying that!
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Comments (123)
JennaBeez 5
Uhm.. I saw like five or six of the same FML in Moderate, but they were all different. Most of them said "Me and my brother were play-fighting and he called me so-and-so fat insult". Please don't fake an FML and claim it's yours.
JennaBeez 5
Why did I get moderated? It was the truth. :L
JennaBeez 5
I saw several FML's like this on moderate. They all said "Me and my brother were play-fighting" you just changed the wording.
zilla52 12
that's dumb on his part
Cutie_PieDee215 3
What a jerk! I would punched him in the gut and said take that you whimp!
Kellogs99 7
I woulda punched his lights out right there.
notforbirds 9
Isn't taunting expected in a /play/ fight?
Spurschick88 3
Doesn't make him any less of an ass
evilplatypus 39
Wisdom on FML? Is that allowed?
DanielleinDC 34
"Bit of an asshole, aren't you?" is what I would have said back. You don't insult someone who can pin you in a "play fight".
Namenlos_fml 20
Ow... He's a sore loser
KM96 24
Ouch what a jerk!