Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my girlfriend has some bruises from her karate class. We went shopping together and needless to say, I got quite a few dirty looks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
evilscorpi 29
better start heading to the gym more often
CHOMP3R 0
Never underestimate a woman.(:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
evilscorpi 29
better start heading to the gym more often
enonymous 9
Didn't know you that Australian women are the 5th leading cause of death? Only behind cancer, guns, Justin Bieber CDs and Chuck Norris jokes?
jesscarrr 10
They breed us girls tough in Australia
_Vamp_ 9
They breed you gals with the blood of kangaroos and other deadly woodland critters.
poostool 5
Aussie women are bred from a long line of convicts. Of course they're tough, prison does that to you. OP, just tear her anus with butt sex then **** on it. Strawberries and cream. Problem solved!!
DKjazz 20
Those koalas, man. They look cuddly, but they aren't. They're like, vicious spartan warriors or something. Man. Koalas. ****.
iEthan 5
22. You were breeded with blood of firing ********'s. They have more balls then you do.
Enigmax2514 7
I once went to Australia, most of the gals were fit as hell and some of the men were huge, tanned and their fists look like they could squash your brains with 1 knuckled punch. Just saying. Gotta love those kangaroos
btnhdude 0
31, You were breeded and became justin beiber's offspring; he's the mom and you're the daughter.
Jammy01jams 2
Well Australia was populated by criminals at one point... You'd think the people living there would be beasts...
brndnzchry 1
Bred
_Vamp_ 9
It's ok 31/gangsta beiber. I know you probably don't have a father figure and your mother probably hates you. I can tell from the haircut that she really doesn't give a damn. Of course, I'm joking, because you are like 12, but really, run along and play and stop commenting. You're digging yourself a nice hole.
rallets 23
you should have let her keep her hair the color it was without dyeing it
Notimetobleed 14
Or he could stop dating a pro female boxer.
glenzhao2 16
At least you know you don't have to deal with that whole defending-your-girlfriend-from-horny-thugs-in-dark-alleys thing :)
karch 0
well if it was the other way around, you'd probably be in some deep shit with the law.
zellybo15 0
well I hope she didn't leave looking the same as when you started either lol
ScottieJo 8
Lol. You got beaten up by a girl that wasn't even trying!
Senior29 8
umm, ur lesbians, right?
SteveTheJanitor 6
Maybe he didn't want to hurt her 'Violence against women, Australia says no'
holeyman 8
That would make More sense
zombicidal 11
Australia says no to everything it would suck without m rated games
exleonhart 0
85- are you a level 12 wizard?
kareltje 17
Owned! LOL!! Is your gf granddaughter of that granny with the stick? :oD
yumsugarr 8
Was she actually trying to hurt you ? If not, that's kind of sad(:
castrosabeast 7
At least you still have your pride....oh wait she probably took that too!
daysleeper666 1
Don't let the door hit you in the ****** on the way out
Freeze_fml 17
She likes it rough. You don't.
ikickgingers 15
^lol
SirEBC 7
I would have beat the mother **** out of that stupid ******* gutterwhore bitch. Just kidding.
CHOMP3R 0
Never underestimate a woman.(: