Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm "so slow a turtle could kick my ass" and that he has "a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend." FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stephhrunsaway 21
Porker? He's the real pig for getting butt hurt like that.
mimiminx 23
What a bastard! I hope you crushed him til he screamed for saying that!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
stephhrunsaway 21
Porker? He's the real pig for getting butt hurt like that.
oj101 33
I'd be porked off too.
MissAmz 7
No.. Just no.
ry24 12
I don't think that was the best thing for him to say, seeing as she can obviously overpower him
IronfuckinMaiden_fml 1
Damn, could you White Knight any ******* harder? Hahahaha
mimiminx 23
What a bastard! I hope you crushed him til he screamed for saying that!
OptimusVader 23
I hope she finished him like a cheesecake!
Bakarra 22
FINISH HIM! *rips out his heart and eats it* FATality!
LupeTabasco 5
I hope you pitch slappef him so hard his man boobs concaved!
erin1994 9
I hope that's the first and last time you hear that! Even if he was kidding it really isn't funny, he's just jealous because you're stronger ;) he' has to defend his manhood somehow I guess?
Sandman366 6
"If by porker you mean I have more muscle weight, then yes, I'm a serious porker."
harmie_swarmie 3
dump him.
zandalee 20
I have to agree in this instance. I can't even imagine how it would feel to be called a porker by someone who is supposed to cherish you and enrich your life... Bigger that. Next.
folgy 10
You don't end a relationship over something like that. You state how it made you feel and discuss it first everyone is so ready to throw something that is slightly broken away rather than trying to fix it you need to at least give them that much. If he doesn't change his attitude or take anything on bored then you may very well build a bacon bridge and eat your way over it leaving him stranded on the other side and move along.
Kitsi 14
I had a fiance who would always put me down. HE made comments about my weight, my looks, my clothes. I told him nicely how it made me feel. I asked him to stop. I gave him numerous chances, but in thw end i have more self worth than to be emotionally cut down like that. So, sometimes trying to talk it out will not work.
dont_doubt_me 29
And sometimes it will, so why not try?
jsandy1994 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Unlucky, at least he is honest ay!
zandalee 20
Are you even reading the same FML as us?
MissAmz 7
That isn't him being honest, it's him being a bitter asshole and a sore loser from being overpowered by a female!
Drakorex 10
If she wasn't fat I doubt he would have said anything, op deserved it
Llama_Face89 34
It's still impolite
RedPillSucks 33
@51 Not necessarily so. This society has a warped notion of what a healthy weight is, what with these rail thin models and such. If she was 130lbs at 5'11" that's not fat. If she's America Ferrera, then only a little so.
beehardxcore 26
So he's a sore loser, and a dick. Shitty combo. Sorry OP. :(
chanellgymnast 17
Let's face it, he's a bit of an ASS.
kamikrazy 6
More like pig
nathanp1202 8
Thats Low.
RebornUnicorn 16
You should have told him it was over because "let's face it, you're a bit of an ass,"
OptimusVader 23
Or maybe just "let's face it, you're a bit of a pussy." I'm a little thick and my boyfriend is really skinny but he's still stronger than me! Weight doesn't prove anything.
OuchAndGoodfight 5
It's a disadvantage and advantage for you as well for him in different ways. Weight isn't the only factor in hand-to-hand combat although it is still a factor, so don't dismiss it.
karlcolt45 19
shoulda just flipped him over and told him to squel like a pig haha