Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm "so slow a turtle could kick my ass" and that he has "a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend." FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
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Top comments
stephhrunsaway 21
Porker? He's the real pig for getting butt hurt like that.
mimiminx 23
What a bastard! I hope you crushed him til he screamed for saying that!
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Comments (123)
Kitsi 14
My first thought as well. haha
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Well, there goes HIS steak and ******* day.
onorexveritas 24
he's the pig for getting bitter about play-fighting
babydoll138 5
Baby all women deserve a man that will say that their beautiful not a " porker " DUMP HIS A$$
ashjo 12
You should have said ' aren't you the one that just snorted like a pig'
paytonio 8
What an ass. I dont let anybody disrespect meee. Not even the people I love. Stick up for yourself.
J_C_maldonado 9
Take some MMA classes and whoop his ass.
DeemedInterest 5
And who was the one who snorted, hmm?
GuinnessGirrrl 8
You're stronger & better than him... Move on & find a real man!!!
sporty_14 5
what an ass!