Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm "so slow a turtle could kick my ass" and that he has "a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend." FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
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Top comments
stephhrunsaway 21
Porker? He's the real pig for getting butt hurt like that.
mimiminx 23
What a bastard! I hope you crushed him til he screamed for saying that!
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Comments (123)
To_Die_For 7
How did I know this all took place in Australia before seeing the location. Australians just know...
Dadvocate 5
Wow all you girls that seem like feminists are all jumping on the ban wagon and quick to assume the worst of this guy. If it bothers ya that much maybe a treadmill wudnt kill ya. Juss sayin you all leave comments like you've known this guy for years and are sure hes a jerk then try to give advice like ur dr phil. Get a grip on urselves.
scr_sensei 14
Just because he's a sore loser and a jerk doesn't mean you should just dump him for it... but he doesn't sound like much of a keeper, either.
Un1c04n 2
Any guy who talks to his girl like that deserves to be dumped.
IsRaeliPrinCess 8
His balls are crushed because he got his ass handed to him by his girlfriend.
scott82 5
Time to lay of Mickey dee breakfast and hit the treadmill !
Lala254 2
Time to high five his face. ;)
Misfit365 2
U shoulda replied and you are a lady dog because you lost to a girl
sleepyolivia 14
I don't know because I wasn't there, but since you guys were play-fighting it honestly sounds like he may have just been joking.
tigerbyrn 13
Since you were pinning him down, you could have made him beg, apologize and admit he got trashed by a girl. After all, it's not like he could have even got up unless you decided to let him go. Hell, depending on the pin, you could have even made things painful for him by twisting his arm or something(but I wouldn't go that far....)